Bug Jokes

What's the difference between a penalty shot in basketball, and a tiny curly wig designed for a bug?

One is a free throw, and the other is a flea 'fro.

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What do you call a web developer who enjoys finding bugs in the system?

A spider

What bug has to watch it's sugar intake?

A dia-beetle

Why did the blonde call an exterminator?

Her computer had a bug...

Which web developer enjoys finding bugs?

A spider!

What do you call a Zen master from eastern Europe who's been bugging you all day?

A Buddha Pest.

What language do bugs in the Middle East speak?

Scarabic

What's the difference between squash and zucchini?

You can't zucchini bugs! A family-friendly take on the age old "jam VS jelly" joke.

What vegetable is a bug most afraid of?

Stephen Hawking

What do you call it when you grind your teeth because you are bugged you forgot your dental floss?

Flossless compression!

Why wasn't there a Captain America movie tie in videogame?

Because every time one bug was fixed, 2 more appeared.

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What do you say when German secret police is bugging you?

geSTAHPo!

How many bugs does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Just two, as long as they can find a way in.

What kind of bug do you find on a long car ride?

An I-shoulda-pede.

What do you call a bug on the moon?

A lunatic! (luna-tick)

What does a bug say when it accidentally breaks its exoskeleton?

You gotta be chitin me!

What kind of bug can survive all winter?

A bahumbug!

Why don't other bugs like earwigs ?

Because they are always earwigging their conversations !

What should you do if you get lots of e-mails saying 'What's up Doc?

What's up Doc ' Check for bugs in your system.

How many walruses does it take to make a sandwich?

Don't be silly, walruses don't make sandwiches; women make sandwiches. Made this up to bug my sister. It worked. Her husband laughed.

What's the difference between a bug and an insect?

Judging by Table 5's reactions, not a lot.

What did the Pink Panther say as he stepped on a bug?

Dead Ant, Dead Ant Dead Ant Dead Ant Dead Ant Dead Ant, Dead AaaaaaaaaaAAAaaannt

Why do you never see any bugs in a church?

Because they are in sects.

Which bug gobbles up trash?

Second Caribou: The litterbug.

Which bug does amazing motor cycle stunts?

Second Caribou: Evel Boll Weevil.

Who's there ! Bug ! Bug who ?

Bug Rodgers !

How many "can't"s can a white girl "can't" before she literally can't even?

my brother asked me this when i woke up and it has been bugging me all day.

Whatcha inventing?

I call it a picnic. It's a meal but outside with bugs and a high risk of bear attack." "Can I bring my kids " "Sure."

What do you call a bug that can't talk?

A hoarse fly.

What kind of bug wants to buy lawn turf?

A gras shopper.

How many bugs does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Just two, as long as they can find a way in.

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System Jokes More System Jokes

What do you call the system of honour of French horses?

Chevalry

Why was the CEO of Pepsi fired?

They caught him with an ounce of coke in his system.

Bug Bite Jokes More Bug Bite Jokes

What's the best kind of cream... ...to get rid of spots and bug bites?

Creamation.

What kind of bug bites only at your feet?

Mosqui-toes

Shoot Jokes More Shoot Jokes

Why did the 3-legged dog go back to Dodge City?

To see who shot his "paw."

What happened to the gun that kept randomly shooting?

He got fired.

Watch Jokes More Watch Jokes

What are an idiot's last words?

Hey, watch this.

What do you call a statistician watching a bull fight?

A mathador.

Language Jokes More Language Jokes

What jokes do you know that can only be understood if you know two (or more) languages?

Like a joke that involves a pun on a word that has different meanings in different languages. Please tell us what languages they are in.

What language do pirates speak?

Arrrrrrabic! A friend and I were extremely high and he thought of this.Good times.

Kind Jokes More Kind Jokes

What kind of house does cheese like to live in?

A cottage"

What kind of dog can you best see in the dark?

A glowberman pinscher!

Mosqui Toe Jokes More Mosqui Toe Jokes

What kind of bug bites only at your feet?

Mosqui-toes

Which is the only insect that needs to wear shoes?

Mosqui-toes.

Blonde Jokes More Blonde Jokes

Why do blondes always die before help arrives?

A: They always forget the "11" in "9-1-1".

Why can't blondes make ice cubes?

A: They always forget the recipe.