Bug Jokes

What's the difference between a penalty shot in basketball, and a tiny curly wig designed for a bug?

One is a free throw, and the other is a flea 'fro.

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What do you call a web developer who enjoys finding bugs in the system?

A spider

What bug has to watch it's sugar intake?

A dia-beetle

Why did the blonde call an exterminator?

Her computer had a bug...

Which web developer enjoys finding bugs?

A spider!

What do you call a Zen master from eastern Europe who's been bugging you all day?

A Buddha Pest.

What language do bugs in the Middle East speak?

Scarabic

What's the difference between squash and zucchini?

You can't zucchini bugs! A family-friendly take on the age old "jam VS jelly" joke.

What vegetable is a bug most afraid of?

Stephen Hawking

What do you call it when you grind your teeth because you are bugged you forgot your dental floss?

Flossless compression!

Why wasn't there a Captain America movie tie in videogame?

Because every time one bug was fixed, 2 more appeared.

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What do you say when German secret police is bugging you?

geSTAHPo!

How many bugs does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Just two, as long as they can find a way in.

What kind of bug do you find on a long car ride?

An I-shoulda-pede.

What do you call a bug on the moon?

A lunatic! (luna-tick)

What does a bug say when it accidentally breaks its exoskeleton?

You gotta be chitin me!

What kind of bug can survive all winter?

A bahumbug!

Why don't other bugs like earwigs ?

Because they are always earwigging their conversations !

What should you do if you get lots of e-mails saying 'What's up Doc?

What's up Doc ' Check for bugs in your system.

How many walruses does it take to make a sandwich?

Don't be silly, walruses don't make sandwiches; women make sandwiches. Made this up to bug my sister. It worked. Her husband laughed.

What's the difference between a bug and an insect?

Judging by Table 5's reactions, not a lot.

What did the Pink Panther say as he stepped on a bug?

Dead Ant, Dead Ant Dead Ant Dead Ant Dead Ant Dead Ant, Dead AaaaaaaaaaAAAaaannt

Why do you never see any bugs in a church?

Because they are in sects.

Which bug gobbles up trash?

Second Caribou: The litterbug.

Which bug does amazing motor cycle stunts?

Second Caribou: Evel Boll Weevil.

Who's there ! Bug ! Bug who ?

Bug Rodgers !

How many "can't"s can a white girl "can't" before she literally can't even?

my brother asked me this when i woke up and it has been bugging me all day.

Whatcha inventing?

I call it a picnic. It's a meal but outside with bugs and a high risk of bear attack." "Can I bring my kids " "Sure."

What do you call a bug that can't talk?

A hoarse fly.

What kind of bug wants to buy lawn turf?

A gras shopper.

How many bugs does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Just two, as long as they can find a way in.

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Fro Jokes More Fro Jokes

What happens to a black mans hair when it feels nauseous?

It fro's up.

What's the difference between a penalty shot in basketball, and a tiny curly wig designed for a bug?

One is a free throw, and the other is a flea 'fro.

Pray Jokes More Pray Jokes

What does a noodle say after praying?

Ramen

Who doesn't?

There he is now Medieval Art: Good morrow! Pray tell- How fare thee on this day of providence

Elephant Jokes More Elephant Jokes

How do you hide an elephant in a fridge?

You remove his slippers and open the door . You put him inside. You close the door and take the slippers away.

What was an elephant doing on the freeway?

About 5 miles per hour.

Design Jokes More Design Jokes

Why did they hire the police department to design a new superconductor?

STOP RESISTING!!!"

Why do programmers hate designing flood defence simulations?

Because of the overflow errors!

Flea Jokes More Flea Jokes

What did the Asian police dog say to the robber?

Fleas!

How to fleas travel ?

Itch hiking !

System Jokes More System Jokes

When is it acceptable to not tip your server?

when your a system admin, and your server if tipped could destroy many websites.

What bands did they hire to play at the Developmental Disability Conference?

System of a Downs My Chemical Imbalance. Youth In Asia

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between the 2016 presidential debates and a pen of baboons relentlessly fighting over the dead stinking corpse of a sheep?

Microphones!

Whats the difference between you and an orphan?

You were adopted. Best told to siblings :D

Pregnant Elephant Jokes More Pregnant Elephant Jokes

What's more difficult than getting a pregnant elephant in a VW bug?

A: Getting an elephant pregnant in a VW bug.

What's harder than getting a pregnant elephant into a Volkswagen?

Getting an elephant pregnant in a Volkswagen.