Bug Jokes

What's the difference between a penalty shot in basketball, and a tiny curly wig designed for a bug?

One is a free throw, and the other is a flea 'fro.

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What do you call a web developer who enjoys finding bugs in the system?

A spider

What bug has to watch it's sugar intake?

A dia-beetle

Why did the blonde call an exterminator?

Her computer had a bug...

Which web developer enjoys finding bugs?

A spider!

What do you call a Zen master from eastern Europe who's been bugging you all day?

A Buddha Pest.

What language do bugs in the Middle East speak?

Scarabic

What's the difference between squash and zucchini?

You can't zucchini bugs! A family-friendly take on the age old "jam VS jelly" joke.

What vegetable is a bug most afraid of?

Stephen Hawking

What do you call it when you grind your teeth because you are bugged you forgot your dental floss?

Flossless compression!

Why wasn't there a Captain America movie tie in videogame?

Because every time one bug was fixed, 2 more appeared.

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What do you say when German secret police is bugging you?

geSTAHPo!

How many bugs does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Just two, as long as they can find a way in.

What kind of bug do you find on a long car ride?

An I-shoulda-pede.

What do you call a bug on the moon?

A lunatic! (luna-tick)

What does a bug say when it accidentally breaks its exoskeleton?

You gotta be chitin me!

What kind of bug can survive all winter?

A bahumbug!

Why don't other bugs like earwigs ?

Because they are always earwigging their conversations !

What should you do if you get lots of e-mails saying 'What's up Doc?

What's up Doc ' Check for bugs in your system.

How many walruses does it take to make a sandwich?

Don't be silly, walruses don't make sandwiches; women make sandwiches. Made this up to bug my sister. It worked. Her husband laughed.

What's the difference between a bug and an insect?

Judging by Table 5's reactions, not a lot.

What did the Pink Panther say as he stepped on a bug?

Dead Ant, Dead Ant Dead Ant Dead Ant Dead Ant Dead Ant, Dead AaaaaaaaaaAAAaaannt

Why do you never see any bugs in a church?

Because they are in sects.

Which bug gobbles up trash?

Second Caribou: The litterbug.

Which bug does amazing motor cycle stunts?

Second Caribou: Evel Boll Weevil.

Who's there ! Bug ! Bug who ?

Bug Rodgers !

How many "can't"s can a white girl "can't" before she literally can't even?

my brother asked me this when i woke up and it has been bugging me all day.

Whatcha inventing?

I call it a picnic. It's a meal but outside with bugs and a high risk of bear attack." "Can I bring my kids " "Sure."

What do you call a bug that can't talk?

A hoarse fly.

What kind of bug wants to buy lawn turf?

A gras shopper.

How many bugs does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Just two, as long as they can find a way in.

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Spider Jokes More Spider Jokes

What animal is two animals at the same time?

The Cat: because is a cat and a spider :) ... oh, wait.

Why are spiders so unproductive?

Because they hang out on the web all day!

Blonde Jokes More Blonde Jokes

Why do blondes drive BMWs?

A1: Because they can spell it. A2: Because they can spell BWM.

Why don't blonde's like audio-books?

A: There aren't any pictures.

Basketball Jokes More Basketball Jokes

What do you get if crossed a new born snake with a basketball ?

A bouncing baby boa !

What do blind people think of a basketball?

It's a never ending story.

Shoot Jokes More Shoot Jokes

Why do black people play basketball?

Because it teaches them how to shoot, run and steal.

Why is a shooting star better than a hamburger?

It's meteor.

System Jokes More System Jokes

What do you call the system of honour of French horses?

Chevalry

What bands did they hire to play at the Developmental Disability Conference?

System of a Downs My Chemical Imbalance. Youth In Asia

Language Jokes More Language Jokes

What language do cats speak?

Catonese

What language do UPS men at Hogwarts speak?

Parcel-tongue

Foot Jokes More Foot Jokes

What did the cell say to his sister when she stepped on his foot?

Ow, mitosis!

What do you call a detective from Glasgow with three feet?

A Scotland Yard.

Guarantee Jokes More Guarantee Jokes

How alcoholic is a drink that's guaranteed to get you drunk?

Fool proof!

What did the sign in the Egyptian funeral home say?

Satisfaction guaranteed or double your mummy back"