What vegetable is a bug most afraid of?

Stephen Hawking

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Stephen Hawk Jokes More Stephen Hawk Jokes

What's black and is on top of the stairs?

Stephen Hawking after a housefire.

What's black and found at the top of a stair case?

Stephen Hawking after a house fire.

Hawk Jokes More Hawk Jokes

Why is Stephen Hawking successful?

He can't run away from his responsibilities.

Why do chinesse make such terrible Estate agents?

Because non of the customers are ever comfortable with the idea of buying a house with a Hawk in the closet.

Bug Jokes More Bug Jokes

Why do you never see any bugs in a church?

Because they are in sects.

How many walruses does it take to make a sandwich?

Don't be silly, walruses don't make sandwiches; women make sandwiches. Made this up to bug my sister. It worked. Her husband laughed.