Hawk Jokes

Who has the fastest brain in the world?

Steven Hawking with a brake failure!

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Why is Stephen Hawking successful?

He can't run away from his responsibilities.

What's black and sits on top of a staircase?

Stephen Hawking in a house fire.

What vegetable is a bug most afraid of?

Stephen Hawking

Whats black and sits at the top of the stairs?

Stpehen hawking after a house fire.

What do scientists and vegetables have in common?

Stephen Hawking

What will ESPN talk about if both the Hawks and Rockets make it to the NBA final?

The NHL playoffs

What's the best vegetable to bring to a party?

Stephen Hawking

Why is Stephen Hawking so controversial?

He never changes his position.

What has a tongue, cannot walk, but gets around a lot?

Steven Hawking

Why do chinesse make such terrible Estate agents?

Because non of the customers are ever comfortable with the idea of buying a house with a Hawk in the closet.

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Where are you?

I said to watch him like a hawk! ME: soaring 20m above w/ a beakful of mice I AM

What if Stephen hawking was the real slim shady?

but we would never know because he couldn't stand up

What's black and found at the top of a stair case?

Stephen Hawking after a house fire.

What's burnt to a crisp and at the top of the stairs?

Stephen Hawking after a house fire.

What did the Australian say to the hawk?

Good eye!

What has hands but can't clap?

Stephen Hawking

What's black and is on top of the stairs?

Stephen Hawking after a housefire.

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What was the last thing that went through Lady Diana's head, moments before the crash?

Car battery

Who invented the brush they put next to the toilet?

That thing hurts!

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What did they say about the computer at the Bunny Ranch?

It may contain viruses.

Why did my computer just say hello?

Oh, that's right. It's A Dell.

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What does Brock Lesnar do if a website isn't loading?

He gives it an F5

How does Stephen Hawking refresh after a long day?

F5.

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How does Steven Hawking refresh after a long work day?

F5 (sorry Imgoingtohellforthis)

What has a tongue, cannot walk, but gets around a lot?

Steven Hawking

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Why does Stephen Hawking do one-liners?

Cause he can't do stand-up.

How do you hire an elephant ?

Stand it on four bricks !

Shoulder Jokes More Shoulder Jokes

What does a racist joke and a crime have in common?

They both start with you looking over your shoulder.

What is the scariest part of a cavity search?

When they put both their hands on your shoulders but keep searching

Walkie Talkie Jokes More Walkie Talkie Jokes

What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and a walkie-talkie?

Stephen Hawking doesn't walkie or talkie.

What do you call a radio that walks?

A walkie talkie.

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

What's the difference between a Boko Haram training camp and a Nigerian refugee camp?

I don't know, I just fly the fighter jet.

What family does the octopus belong to?

Pupil: Nobody I know!