Hawk Jokes

Who has the fastest brain in the world?

Steven Hawking with a brake failure!

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Why is Stephen Hawking successful?

He can't run away from his responsibilities.

What's black and sits on top of a staircase?

Stephen Hawking in a house fire.

What vegetable is a bug most afraid of?

Stephen Hawking

Whats black and sits at the top of the stairs?

Stpehen hawking after a house fire.

What do scientists and vegetables have in common?

Stephen Hawking

What will ESPN talk about if both the Hawks and Rockets make it to the NBA final?

The NHL playoffs

What's the best vegetable to bring to a party?

Stephen Hawking

Why is Stephen Hawking so controversial?

He never changes his position.

What has a tongue, cannot walk, but gets around a lot?

Steven Hawking

Why do chinesse make such terrible Estate agents?

Because non of the customers are ever comfortable with the idea of buying a house with a Hawk in the closet.

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Where are you?

I said to watch him like a hawk! ME: soaring 20m above w/ a beakful of mice I AM

What if Stephen hawking was the real slim shady?

but we would never know because he couldn't stand up

What's black and found at the top of a stair case?

Stephen Hawking after a house fire.

What's burnt to a crisp and at the top of the stairs?

Stephen Hawking after a house fire.

What did the Australian say to the hawk?

Good eye!

What has hands but can't clap?

Stephen Hawking

What's black and is on top of the stairs?

Stephen Hawking after a housefire.

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Bug Jokes More Bug Jokes

What language do bugs in the Middle East speak?

Scarabic

How many bugs does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Just two, as long as they can find a way in.

Stand Jokes More Stand Jokes

Why does Bernie Sanders only drink skim milk?

He can't stand the 1%

What do you call a girl who stands in the middle of a tennis court?

Annette.

Vegetable Jokes More Vegetable Jokes

How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable?

A brick to the back of his head should do it.

Why do neurologists think they're God?

Because they can turn any animal into a vegetable!

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How do you know your friends are pleased with your Facebook post?

They like it!

What's the difference between your finger and a hammer?

I don't know! Well you're not using my computer keyboard then!

Steven Hawking Jokes More Steven Hawking Jokes

Who has the fastest brain in the world?

Steven Hawking with a brake failure!

Why do kids hate Steven Hawking?

They don't like their vegetables.

Tamagotchi Jokes More Tamagotchi Jokes

Why did the toy company stop donating toys to kids in Africa?

Because it's pretty depressing to have a Tamagotchi that'll out-live you.

What's Stephen Hawking's favorite pet?

tamagotchi

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between England and a tea bag?

A tea bag stays in the cup longer!

What is the difference between a bus driver and a cold?

One knows the stops the other stops the nose.

Satisfaction Jokes More Satisfaction Jokes

Why do moslem girls love black guys?

more satisfaction at night for wearing a ninja suit all day.

What did the sign in the Egyptian funeral home say?

Satisfaction guaranteed or double your mummy back"