Hawk Jokes

Who has the fastest brain in the world?

Steven Hawking with a brake failure!

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Why is Stephen Hawking successful?

He can't run away from his responsibilities.

What's black and sits on top of a staircase?

Stephen Hawking in a house fire.

What vegetable is a bug most afraid of?

Stephen Hawking

Whats black and sits at the top of the stairs?

Stpehen hawking after a house fire.

What do scientists and vegetables have in common?

Stephen Hawking

What will ESPN talk about if both the Hawks and Rockets make it to the NBA final?

The NHL playoffs

What's the best vegetable to bring to a party?

Stephen Hawking

Why is Stephen Hawking so controversial?

He never changes his position.

What has a tongue, cannot walk, but gets around a lot?

Steven Hawking

Why do chinesse make such terrible Estate agents?

Because non of the customers are ever comfortable with the idea of buying a house with a Hawk in the closet.

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Where are you?

I said to watch him like a hawk! ME: soaring 20m above w/ a beakful of mice I AM

What if Stephen hawking was the real slim shady?

but we would never know because he couldn't stand up

What's black and found at the top of a stair case?

Stephen Hawking after a house fire.

What's burnt to a crisp and at the top of the stairs?

Stephen Hawking after a house fire.

What did the Australian say to the hawk?

Good eye!

What has hands but can't clap?

Stephen Hawking

What's black and is on top of the stairs?

Stephen Hawking after a housefire.

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House Fire Jokes More House Fire Jokes

What's black and sits at the top of the stairs?

Stephen Hawkings after a house fire.

What do you call a politician in a house fire?

Burning Sanders!

Room Jokes More Room Jokes

Why did the hotel manager refuse to rent his rooms out to people?

He needed places to hide the bodies.

Why do I have to share a room with my twin sister?

ME: Because we only anticipated having one of you.

Long Day Jokes More Long Day Jokes

Where did the meteorologist stop for a drink on the way home from a long day in the studio?

The nearest ISOBAR!!

How does Stephen Hawking refresh after a long day?

F5.

World Jokes More World Jokes

What's black, wears a bandana and ends the world?

Tupacalypse. (thanks to my buddy Mike)

Who was the best financier in the Bible?

Noah. He floated his stock while the whole world was in liquidation.

Wheelchair Jokes More Wheelchair Jokes

Whats it called when you 69 with someone who is sitting in a wheelchair?

Meals on wheels

What is the hardest part of a vegetable?

The wheelchair. sorry

Stand Jokes More Stand Jokes

What's grey stands in a river when it rains and doesn't get wet ?

An elephant with an umbrella !

Why did the redditor stand on a piece of fruit to check his weight?

BECAUSE HE WAS USING A BANANA FOR SCALE

Shoulder Jokes More Shoulder Jokes

How do you know Kurt Cobain didn't have dandruff?

A bit of his head and shoulders were found behind the couch.

What did the Greek God say when he could finally take the world off his shoulders?

At las!

Bug Jokes More Bug Jokes

What do you call a bug on the moon?

A lunatic! (luna-tick)

What do you call a bug that can't talk?

A hoarse fly.