Hawk Jokes

Who has the fastest brain in the world?

Steven Hawking with a brake failure!

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Why is Stephen Hawking successful?

He can't run away from his responsibilities.

What's black and sits on top of a staircase?

Stephen Hawking in a house fire.

What vegetable is a bug most afraid of?

Stephen Hawking

Whats black and sits at the top of the stairs?

Stpehen hawking after a house fire.

What do scientists and vegetables have in common?

Stephen Hawking

What will ESPN talk about if both the Hawks and Rockets make it to the NBA final?

The NHL playoffs

What's the best vegetable to bring to a party?

Stephen Hawking

Why is Stephen Hawking so controversial?

He never changes his position.

What has a tongue, cannot walk, but gets around a lot?

Steven Hawking

Why do chinesse make such terrible Estate agents?

Because non of the customers are ever comfortable with the idea of buying a house with a Hawk in the closet.

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Where are you?

I said to watch him like a hawk! ME: soaring 20m above w/ a beakful of mice I AM

What if Stephen hawking was the real slim shady?

but we would never know because he couldn't stand up

What's black and found at the top of a stair case?

Stephen Hawking after a house fire.

What's burnt to a crisp and at the top of the stairs?

Stephen Hawking after a house fire.

What did the Australian say to the hawk?

Good eye!

What has hands but can't clap?

Stephen Hawking

What's black and is on top of the stairs?

Stephen Hawking after a housefire.

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Crash Jokes More Crash Jokes

Why did you crash into that stop sign?

Motorist: I was only following orders.

What do you call five black cars that all crash into each other?

A three car pile-up.

Staircase Jokes More Staircase Jokes

What's black and sits on top of a staircase?

Stephen Hawking in a house fire.

What do you call a Cadillac with a staircase on the back?

An escalador.

Tamagotchi Jokes More Tamagotchi Jokes

What's Stephen Hawking's favorite pet?

tamagotchi

Why did the toy company stop donating toys to kids in Africa?

Because it's pretty depressing to have a Tamagotchi that'll out-live you.

Mineral Jokes More Mineral Jokes

How many rocks did Hank Schrader have in his collection by the end of Breaking Bad?

None, they were all minerals.

What do you get when you have Tiger Woods, Stephen Hawking, and Dwayne Johnson in the same room?

An Animal, a Vegetable, and a Mineral.

Room Jokes More Room Jokes

What room is missing from almost every house?

a Mushroom

How many Irish guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

30 - One to hold the light bulb and 29 to drink until the room spins.

Animal Jokes More Animal Jokes

What do you call a person who had to be amputated after being attacked by an animal?

Claude

What do dogs have that no other animal has ?

Puppy dogs !

E Jokes More E Jokes

How many post-minimalists does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two. On e to he lp with t he he lp with one two with and the oth there to and th e to two with lp he

What starts with E, ends with E, and only has one letter in it?

An envelope!

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference in Xbox One and your mother?

I genuinely care about your mother.

What's the difference between Greece and a good software application?

Greece doesn't have default settings!