What has a tongue, cannot walk, but gets around a lot?

Steven Hawking

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Tongue Jokes More Tongue Jokes

Which aardvark holds the speed record?

The nearsighted aardvark who wrapped his tongue around a motorcycle!

Why aren't there any nails in a lesbian's floor?

A. They're all laid with tongue and groove.

Walk Jokes More Walk Jokes

Why did they invent the shopping cart?

To teach women to walk on their hind legs.

Why do white girls walk in odd numbers?

Because they can't even

Steven Hawking Jokes More Steven Hawking Jokes

Why does Steven Hawking hate the band Muse?

Because he can't stand their song Uprising, it wants him to rise up and take the power back.

What's black and sits at the top of a staircase?

Steven Hawking after a house fire.

Hawk Jokes More Hawk Jokes

Where are you?

I said to watch him like a hawk! ME: soaring 20m above w/ a beakful of mice I AM

What will ESPN talk about if both the Hawks and Rockets make it to the NBA final?

The NHL playoffs