What has a tongue, cannot walk, but gets around a lot?

Steven Hawking

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Tongue Jokes More Tongue Jokes

What's worse than a whale with a sore tooth?

When you go to kiss your grandma goodbye and she slips you the tongue.

How do lesbian carpenters work?

No studs. All tongue in groove.

Walk Jokes More Walk Jokes

Why do people walk by and say "Hi, how are you?

but they don't stop long enough for you to reply!

What's the shortest Tom Cruise joke?

He walks into a bra.

Steven Hawking Jokes More Steven Hawking Jokes

Why does Steven Hawking hate the band Muse?

Because he can't stand their song Uprising, it wants him to rise up and take the power back.

Who has the fastest brain in the world?

Steven Hawking with a brake failure!

Hawk Jokes More Hawk Jokes

Why is Stephen Hawking so controversial?

He never changes his position.

What's burnt to a crisp and at the top of the stairs?

Stephen Hawking after a house fire.