What's black and found at the top of a stair case?

Stephen Hawking after a house fire.

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Where did the seaweed... Where did the seaweed find a job?

In the "Kelp Wanted" section of the want-ads.

Why did the moron think his girlfriend was into metal?

He found steel wool pads in her bathroom.

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Whats black and sits at the top of the stairs after a house fire?

Stephen Hawking's

How much for this remote controlled alien?

Sir, that's Stephen Hawking."

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What's burnt to a crisp and at the top of the stairs?

Stephen Hawking after a house fire.

What has hands but can't clap?

Stephen Hawking