What did the farmer say when the police found the gate from the public footpath in his barn and accused him of stealing?

That's not my stile.

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What's worse than finding hair in your food?

Finding out the chef is bald.

What do you call it when guys find older women unusually attractive?

The Stunning-Cougar Effect.

Farmer Jokes More Farmer Jokes

How do farmers count their cattle?

With a culator

What did the cow say to the farmer named Mitch?

Moo Mitch, get out the hay

Police Jokes More Police Jokes

What do you call a midget fortune teller running from the police?

A small medium at large.

What do the Police, the NFL and Black Lives Matter all have in common?

They all have the same PR guy.

Steal Jokes More Steal Jokes

Why was the pirate fired from the babyGap?

For stealing the booty

What do you call a duck that likes to steal?

A Robber Ducky!

Barn Jokes More Barn Jokes

Why didn't the cow go to the barn?

He wasn't in the mooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooood.

How does a bull stay warm on a bitterly cold day?

A: He goes into the barn and slips into a nice warm Jersey.

Accuse Jokes More Accuse Jokes

Why was Sean Connery accused of piracy while drinking tea?

He took a ship.

What did the cat say when it was wrongfully accused of a crime and sent behind bars?

Let Meowt!!!!"

Gate Jokes More Gate Jokes

What should you do if windows crashes cost you a lot of money?

A: You should bill Gates.

Why did the vulture have to check some luggage at the gate?

It was only allowed one piece of carrion.