What did the farmer say when the police found the gate from the public footpath in his barn and accused him of stealing?

That's not my stile.

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Find Jokes More Find Jokes

How do you find a black person?

Guilty.

What do you usually find with four Catholics?

A fifth.

Farmer Jokes More Farmer Jokes

What is the difference between a dressmaker and a farmer?

A dressmaker sews what she gathers a farmer gathers what he sows.

Why did the farmer put his cow on the scales?

He wanted to see how much the milky weighed!

Police Jokes More Police Jokes

Why was the tired criminal delighted when he was caught by the police?

Because he needed *arrest*!!!

What did the terrorist say to the police before he blew up the building?

C4 yourself!

Steal Jokes More Steal Jokes

How many black people are needed to change a light bulb?

One less now, because the one who tried to steal the light bulb was shot by the cops.

What did Jonathan Ross say after breaking in to a large kitchen to steal some utensils?

It was worth the whisk

Barn Jokes More Barn Jokes

What did the Irish farmer say to his cow when it climbed onto the roof of his barn?

A: Get off.

What kind of farm has lots of books but no livestock?

Barns and no-bulls. (This joke was made up by my 7 year-old cousin.)

Accuse Jokes More Accuse Jokes

Why did the robot get detention?

Because he was accused of Boolean.

Why did Luke Skywalker get in trouble for using the Live Long and Prosper sign?

It's because he was accused of cultural appropriation.

Gate Jokes More Gate Jokes

What vocation can transform anything into a gate?

A reporter.

What do you say to a person who calls a black fence a gate?

No, a fence.