Gate Jokes

Why did the vulture have to check some luggage at the gate?

It was only allowed one piece of carrion.

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What did the farmer say when the police found the gate from the public footpath in his barn and accused him of stealing?

That's not my stile.

What do you say to a person who calls a black fence a gate?

No, a fence.

What should you do if windows crashes cost you a lot of money?

A: You should bill Gates.

What vocation can transform anything into a gate?

A reporter.

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Atheist Jokes More Atheist Jokes

Why are so many computer scientists atheists?

Because praying for a bug fix is guaranteed to fail.

What do you call an atheist in a six foot pine box?

All dressed up, with no place to go.

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What did the caveman give his wife on Valentine's Day?

Ughs and kisses!

What do you get when you play country music backwards?

You get your job back, you get your wife back and you get your tractor back.

Vulture Jokes More Vulture Jokes

Why'd the vulture check his bag?

The airline didn't allow carrion luggage.

What does a vulture bring onto a plane?

Carrion luggage

Barn Jokes More Barn Jokes

Why didn't the cow go to the barn?

He wasn't in the mooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooood.

How does a bull stay warm on a bitterly cold day?

A: He goes into the barn and slips into a nice warm Jersey.

Faith Jokes More Faith Jokes

What do Bill Gates and the Pope have in common?

They've both put their faith in the cloud.

Why was Darth Vader upset when he heard George Michael will only play new songs at his concerts?

He found his lack of Faith disturbing.

Bostonian Jokes More Bostonian Jokes

What do bostonians call dogs that protect heaven's gates?

God dogs

What kind of pants do Bostonians wear?

Car Keys

Goddamne Jokes More Goddamne Jokes

What does the atheist say when he arrives at the Pearly Gates?

I'll be goddamned.

What's the biggest joke of all time?

My life. My entire goddamned life.

Steve Jobs Jokes More Steve Jobs Jokes

What do you get when Steve Jobs hires and fires a lot of people in six months?

A: An Apple turnover.

What would Apple laptops be called if Steve Jobs had been Irish?

McBook Eyre