What brings you to speed dating?

Me: I just ran out of the fancy shampoo my previous GF bought for me.

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Buy Jokes More Buy Jokes

How much money does the Government pay people with autistic disorder?

Enough to buy a computer that can play League of Legends.

What pen company did Lance Armstrong buy?

Uniball

Bring Jokes More Bring Jokes

How do you impress a baker when you're taking his daughter on a date?

Bring her flours

Who was the best actor in the bible ?

Samson he brought the house down !

Speed Jokes More Speed Jokes

What did the cow say to the police officer, giving a speeding ticket?

Miav.

Why isn't the speed of light Asian?

Because it never gets better than a 'C'.

Run Jokes More Run Jokes

How do you get a Criminal to stop running?

Play the national anthem

How Many Running Backs Does It Take To Turn On A Light?

Two. One to find the switch...the other to hit it.

Date Jokes More Date Jokes

How many trains have you derailed to date?

I replied "It's hard to keep track."

Why couldn't the banana get a date?

It didn't have a peel.

Gf Jokes More Gf Jokes

Whats a gf?

Mom: if youre a good boy, youll get one when youre older. Son: What is Im not a good boy? Mom: Youll get many.

How do you describe every gf in one word?

K