What brings you to speed dating?

Me: I just ran out of the fancy shampoo my previous GF bought for me.

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Buy Jokes More Buy Jokes

Why buy expensive fireworks when you can make your own with ordinary household chemicals?

I said, and the other patients in the ER agreed.

What's the difference between a crackhead and a John?

A crackhead buys crack so he can put it into his pipe and burn it. A John pays so that he can put his pipe into a crack that might burn him.

Bring Jokes More Bring Jokes

How many Aquarians does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: A hundred but they'll all be competing to be the one to change the bulb and bring light to the world.

What happened to the wizard who ran away with the circus?

The police made him bring it back again.

Speed Jokes More Speed Jokes

What happens if you feed Link some Speed?

you get a Hyperlink ...

Where can you find the speed of light?

At C level

Run Jokes More Run Jokes

Why did the motorcycle suddenly stop running?

Because it was two tired.

What brings you to speed dating?

Me: I just ran out of the fancy shampoo my previous GF bought for me.

Date Jokes More Date Jokes

What's the best part of dating 28 year olds?

There's 20 of them!

How did the date go?

Not good. Aww what went wrong -*thinks back to accidentally popping a zit into her soup* She just wasn't my type.

Gf Jokes More Gf Jokes

What do you do if your GF is having siezures in the bathtub?

Throw in your laundry.

What's a GF?

Mom:if you are a good boy,you will get one when you're older. Son:What if i'm not a good boy? Mom:You'll get many.