Gf Jokes

What's red, 6 inches long and makes my gf cry when i feed it to her?

Her miscarriage.

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What do you do if your GF is having siezures in the bathtub?

Throw in your laundry.

How do you describe every gf in one word?

Whats a gf?

Mom: if youre a good boy, youll get one when youre older. Son: What is Im not a good boy? Mom: Youll get many.

What's a GF?

Mom:if you are a good boy,you will get one when you're older. Son:What if i'm not a good boy? Mom:You'll get many.

How to lose a gf: Gf: which of my friends would be the most fun to have a 3some with?

Me: *names two of them*

What's the worst last words your EX-GF can say to you?

I do."

Why was Jesus not born in West Virginia?

Because they couldn't find three wise men or a virgin. Gf sent me this when she was driving through the state.

What happened did someone try to break into your house?

Me: No. My gf said we needed to talk

What's the difference between an elevator and a redditor?

An elevator has a GF

How are monster trucks made?

ME: Son, when a monster and a truck love each oth- GF: glares ME: He's old enough for the facts, Jane

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What brings you to speed dating?

Me: I just ran out of the fancy shampoo my previous GF bought for me.

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Miscarriage Jokes More Miscarriage Jokes

What starts with an 'M', ends with 'arriage', and recently made me the happiest man alive?

Miscarriage

What starts with "M" ends with "arriage" and recently made me the happiest man on earth?

Miscarriage

Son Jokes More Son Jokes

What did the vampire do to stop his son biting his nails ?

He cut all his fingers off !

What was the question?

Son: "Who's farted"

Bad Word Jokes More Bad Word Jokes

What do you call an angry shopper using bad words?

A cussomer.

What's a nerdy way of saying a bad word?

A canine with two X chromosomes.

Describe Jokes More Describe Jokes

How would you describe the average bully?

Mean.

How do Freudians describe the human mind?

As a huge ENEMA, I mean huge enigma.....

Cry Jokes More Cry Jokes

What do you say to your sister when she's crying?

Are you having a crisis?

How do you react when looking in the mirror?

You cry because you shoved a cactus up your peckar.

Car Jokes More Car Jokes

Why you should wash your car?

WASH YOUR CAR BECAUSE IT IS DIRTIER THAN MILEY CYRUS!

Why are hurricanes named after women?

Because they arrive wet and wild then leave with your house and car

Win Jokes More Win Jokes

How does a paralympian call home, after winning a medal?

handsfree

Why do Italians throw pizza onto the field after they win a match?

Because they rain supreme.

Mom Jokes More Mom Jokes

Why was the cookie crying?

Because it's mom was a wafer so long.

What did the mom say to her son when he said he didn't want any of her flippin' pancakes?

Fine. They will just be burnt on one side.