Gf Jokes

What's red, 6 inches long and makes my gf cry when i feed it to her?

Her miscarriage.

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What do you do if your GF is having siezures in the bathtub?

Throw in your laundry.

How do you describe every gf in one word?

Whats a gf?

Mom: if youre a good boy, youll get one when youre older. Son: What is Im not a good boy? Mom: Youll get many.

What's a GF?

Mom:if you are a good boy,you will get one when you're older. Son:What if i'm not a good boy? Mom:You'll get many.

How to lose a gf: Gf: which of my friends would be the most fun to have a 3some with?

Me: *names two of them*

What's the worst last words your EX-GF can say to you?

I do."

Why was Jesus not born in West Virginia?

Because they couldn't find three wise men or a virgin. Gf sent me this when she was driving through the state.

What happened did someone try to break into your house?

Me: No. My gf said we needed to talk

What's the difference between an elevator and a redditor?

An elevator has a GF

How are monster trucks made?

ME: Son, when a monster and a truck love each oth- GF: glares ME: He's old enough for the facts, Jane

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What brings you to speed dating?

Me: I just ran out of the fancy shampoo my previous GF bought for me.

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Tv Jokes More Tv Jokes

What do Hurricane Matthew and Kim Kardashian have in common?

They'll both blow the entire east coast just to get on TV

Can I watch the TV?

Yes, but don’t turn it on.

Ex Jokes More Ex Jokes

What should you do when your ex-girlfriend stands in the spotlights?

Drive faster.

What do Marylanders call their ex-girlfriends?

Old Bay.

Car Jokes More Car Jokes

What did the dog take when he was run down?

The license number of the car that hit him.

What is a bullfighter's favourite type of car?

A cabri - ole

6 Inch Jokes More 6 Inch Jokes

Why does Jared love 6-inch subs?

He doesn't, he likes 14-year old girls

What's 6 inches long and 2 inches wide and drives women wild ?

A 100$ bill

Laundry Jokes More Laundry Jokes

Why is the state of Israel like laundry?

Its a part Tide

What do you do when you find Michael J. Fox in your hot tub?

Add your laundry.

Feed Jokes More Feed Jokes

What's the difference between an arts graduate and a pizza?

A pizza can feed a family

Where do football directors go when they are fed up ?

The bored room !

Find Jokes More Find Jokes

Where did that offensive joke post go?

I'm pretty sure I saved it to make reference to eventually and now I cannot find it. There was some gold in there.

Why did the walrus go to the tuppeware party?

To find a tight seal.. Badum tsst

Bathtub Jokes More Bathtub Jokes

What do you call James Bond in the bathtub?

Bubble-0-7

What the difference between a nun in a bathtub & a nurse in the bathtub?

One has soul full of hope & one has a hole full of soap... I'll walk myself out, sorry first post here