Gf Jokes

What's red, 6 inches long and makes my gf cry when i feed it to her?

Her miscarriage.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug
5.0

Coffee Mug

What do you do if your GF is having siezures in the bathtub?

Throw in your laundry.

How do you describe every gf in one word?

K

Whats a gf?

Mom: if youre a good boy, youll get one when youre older. Son: What is Im not a good boy? Mom: Youll get many.

What's a GF?

Mom:if you are a good boy,you will get one when you're older. Son:What if i'm not a good boy? Mom:You'll get many.

How to lose a gf: Gf: which of my friends would be the most fun to have a 3some with?

Me: *names two of them*

What's the worst last words your EX-GF can say to you?

I do."

Why was Jesus not born in West Virginia?

Because they couldn't find three wise men or a virgin. Gf sent me this when she was driving through the state.

What happened did someone try to break into your house?

Me: No. My gf said we needed to talk

What's the difference between an elevator and a redditor?

An elevator has a GF

How are monster trucks made?

ME: Son, when a monster and a truck love each oth- GF: glares ME: He's old enough for the facts, Jane

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug
5.0

Coffee Mug

What brings you to speed dating?

Me: I just ran out of the fancy shampoo my previous GF bought for me.

You might also enjoy:

Argument Jokes More Argument Jokes

What is a misogynist?

A misogynist is anyone winning an argument with a feminist.

Why can't a vegetable win an argument?

Cuz he always uses a straw, man!

6 Jokes More 6 Jokes

Why did 6 and 8 dislike 7?

They thought 7 was pretty odd.

Where did the tornado go?

Me: Don't worry. It's gone. 6: To where Me: It just disappeared 6: Isn't that a little bit fishy

Describe Jokes More Describe Jokes

How would you describe Al Gore playing the drums?

Algorithm.

How would you describe the typical Inuit mathematician?

Cold and calculating.

Find Jokes More Find Jokes

What is the difference between complete and finished?

If you find the right woman, you're complete.

3 SQL statements walk into a NoSQL bar. Soon, they walk out

They couldn't find a table.

Bad Word Jokes More Bad Word Jokes

What do you call an angry shopper using bad words?

A cussomer.

What's a nerdy way of saying a bad word?

A canine with two X chromosomes.

Cry Jokes More Cry Jokes

What's big, bounces, and makes little kids cry?

My donation check to the orphanage.

What's the difference between a saxophone and an onion?

You don't cry when you cut up a saxophone. Happy Saxophone Day Why this musical abomination deserves its own day is beyond me. Edit: beside to beyond

Feed Jokes More Feed Jokes

What do you feed an invisible cat?

A: Evaporated milk.

How do you get a puppy to stay the same size forever?

You stop feeding it.

Commercial Jokes More Commercial Jokes

What ever happened to the Energizer Bunny?

So the other day I'm talking to a friend about what happened to the Energizer Bunny. It's been quite sometime since I've seen him appear in a commercial. I was always under the impression that he "kept going." My friend proceeds to tell me the Energizer Bunny was arrested last year ,and they charged him with battery. Now it all makes sense.

Where were you?

Uh, with my.. gf " Gf Well, tell us about her! What's her name commercial on tv uh.. Lisa.. Brandnewtoyota