How are monster trucks made?

ME: Son, when a monster and a truck love each oth- GF: glares ME: He's old enough for the facts, Jane

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Why does a walrus love Tupperware?

Because he's always looking for a tight seal.

What did the plant say to the runaway melons in love?

You cantelope!

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What did the potato name his son?

Chip. Sorry.

What is the difference between confident and confidential?

Dad says: "You are my son, I'm confident about that. Your friend over there, is also my son, THAT is confidential.

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What do you get if you play a country music song backwards?

You get your wife back. Your house back. Your truck back. Your dog back...

Why did Johnny drop his ice cream?

Because he got hit by a truck!

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What's the worst last words your EX-GF can say to you?

I do."

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Mom:if you are a good boy,you will get one when you're older. Son:What if i'm not a good boy? Mom:You'll get many.

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What are facts about canines we must believe?

Dogma

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We just report the facts we don't change them."

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What would you get if you crossed a monster with the god of love?

A stupid Cupid!

How do you know that there's a monster in your bath?

You can't get the shower curtain closed.

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To marry Jane

What have you been doing" asked Jane. "Chasing a herd of elephants on vines" "Really ?

said Jane. "I thought elephants stayed on the ground !"

Glare Jokes More Glare Jokes

What strengths do you bring to the job?

long pause while Jesus glares at interviewer* Are you being serious right now

How are monster trucks made?

ME: Son, when a monster and a truck love each oth- GF: glares ME: He's old enough for the facts, Jane