What is the difference between Jesus and a painting?

You only need a nail to hang a painting.

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a cat and a politician?

A cat will lie your face. A politician will lie your face.

What is the difference between a bag of cocaine and a four year old?

Eric Clapton wouldn't drop a bag of cocaine out the window

Hang Jokes More Hang Jokes

What did the people who hung Jesus to the cross say?

Nailed it

Why didn't the other viruses hang out with The Common Cold?

Because he is a bad influenza

Jesus Jokes More Jesus Jokes

What do you call a penny with Jesus on it?

J.C. Penny

What do you call a crocodile/robot sent from the future to save the past?

Termigator (jesus christ this one's even worse than the last)

Nail Jokes More Nail Jokes

How do know a job's been done by a lesbian carpenter?

There are no nails, and no screws, it's all tongue and groove!

What did Jesus say when they un-nailed his hands from the cross?

THE FEET, THE FEET, THE FEET!!!

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

What pillar doesn't need holding up ?

A caterpillar !

What did the poop said to the other poop?

Poop: Please don't push. It's already tight in here! Poop to Pee: May I go first? Meanwhile, Fart pushing everyone to the sides.. Fart: Excuse me! Excuse me! I need to go!

Paint Jokes More Paint Jokes

What's blue, standing in the kitchen?

STFU, I can paint my wife any colour I want!

What did the painter say to the paint can?

A lot of good you are . (the joke is that the paint can is empty)