What's your opener?

JESUS: "God loves you." You BUDDHA (crumpling paper that says Life Is Suffering): Me too

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Life Jokes More Life Jokes

Why was the double leg amputee sentenced to life?

He had no leg to stand on.

What do you have when life gives you melons?

Dyslexia.

Jesus Jokes More Jesus Jokes

What's the big deal about jesus turning water into wine?

I turned MY student loans into vodka...

What's your opener?

JESUS: "God loves you." You BUDDHA (crumpling paper that says Life Is Suffering): Me too

Love Jokes More Love Jokes

What's the rule for Twitter crushes?

So far I'm in love with 800 women, 2 dudes, and a llama. Send condoms.

Why does it take so long for a pro-lifer to screw in a lightbulb?

They love to watch mistakes being made.

Paper Jokes More Paper Jokes

When a cop pulls you over and asks, "Papers?

answer "Scissors." then drive away..

Why do they ask you if you would like paper or plastic at the grocery store?

Because baggers can't be choosers,

Suffer Jokes More Suffer Jokes

Why are friendzone'd guys always sick?

They suffer from m'ladies

What is your Problem?

Darren : Suffering from Unlimited Free Outgoings with Different Different Ringtones...:-):-D

God Jokes More God Jokes

What's the same with 9/11 and Goliath and the giant?

They were both caused by a message from god.

Why can't priests have children?

Because choir boys can't get pregnant, thank God.

Buddha Jokes More Buddha Jokes

Who has the most karma on Reddit?

Buddha.

Why couldn't the Buddha hoover under the sofa?

Because he had no attachments

Opener Jokes More Opener Jokes

What weapon is most feared by knights?

A can opener.

What's your opener?

JESUS: "God loves you." You BUDDHA (crumpling paper that says Life Is Suffering): Me too

Crumple Jokes More Crumple Jokes

What's your opener?

JESUS: "God loves you." You BUDDHA (crumpling paper that says Life Is Suffering): Me too

What should we call this portable computer?

SOME GUY: Laptop everyone applauds...w/ tears in my eyes i crumple a paper that says Kneeputer