Buddha Jokes

What did the cremated Buddha who was placed in a cardboard box say?

I'm in light urn.'

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Why couldn't the Buddha hoover under the sofa?

Because he had no attachments

What did Buddha say to the Pizza guy?

Make me one with everything."

What kind of hotdog did the Buddha order from the street vendor?

One with everything

Who do you think was smarter, Jesus or Buddha?

I mean, just in terms of not letting themselves get crucified.

What happened to the religious idol when it was put up at auction?

It was sold to the highest Buddha.

Who's there ! Buddha ! Buddha who ?

Buddha this slice of bread for me !

What kind of pizza does Buddha like?

One with everything.

What's your opener?

JESUS: "God loves you." You BUDDHA (crumpling paper that says Life Is Suffering): Me too

Who has the most karma on Reddit?

Buddha.

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Place Jokes More Place Jokes

What's the first place Dora explored?

The mexican border.

How many Frenchmen does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Just one to hold it in place while the rest of Europe runs circles around it.

Bread Jokes More Bread Jokes

What do you get when you plant a loaf of bread?

A bakery.

Why is the Flying Spaghetti Monster made of Pasta?

Because "made of bread" was already taken by Jesus.

Happen Jokes More Happen Jokes

What happens to a laffy taffy joke in the rain?

It makes me laugh a little bit, in the rain.

What happened when pigs started flying?

Everyone got swine flu

Attachment Jokes More Attachment Jokes

Why couldn't the Buddhist monk send his mother a birthday card via email?

He had no attachments.

How do Buddhist monks send emails?

They remove all attachments.

Crumple Jokes More Crumple Jokes

What should we call this portable computer?

SOME GUY: Laptop everyone applauds...w/ tears in my eyes i crumple a paper that says Kneeputer

What u doing?

Math, it's due Friday" *I slowly crumple the paper and put it in my mouth* They'll never believe u

Cremate Jokes More Cremate Jokes

What's the best part about being cremated?

Finally achieving a smokin' hot body.

Why did the man with bronchitis get cremated..?

he was tired of coffin.

Auction Jokes More Auction Jokes

How do you make a black nervous?

Take him to an auction.

What happened to the religious idol when it was put up at auction?

It was sold to the highest Buddha.

Love Jokes More Love Jokes

What is love?

Baby don't hurt me.

What's the key to finding love?

Rohypnol