Cremate Jokes

What did the cremated Buddha who was placed in a cardboard box say?

I'm in light urn.'

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What did the masterbating Australian mortician do?

Cremate

Why did the blonde feminist want to be cremated when she died?

She thought a traditional burial would be too bio-degrading.

Why was John Lennon so ashy?

Because he was cremated

Why did the man with bronchitis get cremated..?

he was tired of coffin.

Why did so many people show up to see the cannibal get cremated?

His family advertised it as a barbecue.

What do you call it when a cremated person spins in their grave?

An Urn-ado.

Why was the necrophiliac fired from the crematory?

He was caught spreading remains before they were cremated.

What's the best part about being cremated?

Finally achieving a smokin' hot body.

How do you want your mother-in-law buried or cremated?

Hmm No risk do both.

Why was the homeless man's body cremated?

Because he urned it

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Die Jokes More Die Jokes

What do you call a hundred year old man who dies in the library?

Overdue

What happens to me when I die?

Idk. (I decay)

Bury Jokes More Bury Jokes

What did one shovel say to the other during a recurring fight?

Can we just bury this?

Why do they bury child molesters 10 feet under?

Because deep down they're really good people.

Australian Jokes More Australian Jokes

What do you call a display of Australian patriotism?

Stockholm Syndrome.

What do you call an Australian singer who was born in Australia?

Aussie Aus-born.

Achieve Jokes More Achieve Jokes

How do Communists achieve a revolution every single year?

They planet!

Why couldn't the effective vitamin supplement achieve true happiness?

He was too super fish oil.

Urn Jokes More Urn Jokes

Why didn't the potter get a job?

He didn't *urn* his degree.

What is the ideal weight for a lawyer?

About 3 pounds, including the urn.

Coffin Jokes More Coffin Jokes

What did one coffin say to the other?

Is that you coughin'

Why did the funeral director cover his mouth?

he kept coffin

Place Jokes More Place Jokes

Why did the girl reject the landfill owner?

His place is a dump

How many feminists do you need to replace a lightbulb?

Only 1, she'll hold the bulb in place and wait while the world revolves around her.

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why did the Buddhist refuse Novocaine?

He wanted to transcend dental medication.

Who wants two tickets to the gun show?

I bought the Groupon but can't make it :(