Cremate Jokes

What did the cremated Buddha who was placed in a cardboard box say?

I'm in light urn.'

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What did the masterbating Australian mortician do?

Cremate

Why did the blonde feminist want to be cremated when she died?

She thought a traditional burial would be too bio-degrading.

Why was John Lennon so ashy?

Because he was cremated

Why did the man with bronchitis get cremated..?

he was tired of coffin.

Why did so many people show up to see the cannibal get cremated?

His family advertised it as a barbecue.

What do you call it when a cremated person spins in their grave?

An Urn-ado.

Why was the necrophiliac fired from the crematory?

He was caught spreading remains before they were cremated.

What's the best part about being cremated?

Finally achieving a smokin' hot body.

How do you want your mother-in-law buried or cremated?

Hmm No risk do both.

Why was the homeless man's body cremated?

Because he urned it

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Catch Jokes More Catch Jokes

How do you catch a terminator?

With a skynet

What do you call a seagull that catches you sleeping?

A baegull.

Think Jokes More Think Jokes

What do you do when you get to the top of the world's tallest mountain?

Have a rest. (Everest, get it?) Really awful joke, but I thought of it last night and was wondering if anyone recognised it? Who knows, it might be original....

How do you find out if the cat is dead or alive in the Schrodinger's cat paradox?

By thinking outside the box

Good Jokes More Good Jokes

What do they have in common ?

Both of them can sniff "the goods" but no one can touch !

What's the best part of running a marathon?

Ha! You actually thought I ran a marathon! Jokes on you, I'm just drunk!

Cannibal Jokes More Cannibal Jokes

What drink does a cannibal have after a long day?

a handshake!

Why do cannibals hate Pentecostals?

Because they're always throwing up their hands.

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why did the internit paint his computer screen in little black and white squares?

He wanted to check his e-mail.

What did the mom say to her son when he said he didn't want any of her flippin' pancakes?

Fine. They will just be burnt on one side.

Australian Jokes More Australian Jokes

What does an Australian witch ride on?

A broomerang!

What Australian city has the most cats?

Purrth.

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

What did the police officer say to the man who was urinating publicly?

Urine trouble, mate!"

What did the man say when he couldn't get the gun to fire?

Looks like I'm gonna have to read the trouble shooting section of the manual."

Die Jokes More Die Jokes

How did the Scot die?

He got kilt.

Why did the skydiver die before reaching the ground?

Because he reached terminal velocity.