What's the key to finding love?

Rohypnol

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What can you find on neckbeard bread?

M'old.

What do you call a Psychic Compromise?

A Happy Medium. Sorry, a played around with the wording of this a lot and couldn't find anything better. Please suggest a better phrasing.

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What's the difference between lust, love, and just plain showing off?

Spitting, Swallowing, and gargling.

What does your mother and a neckbeard have in common?

They both love Ten D's

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What is the key to being a successful and lucrative locksmith?

There isn't one.

Why was the band late to their gig?

Because the drummer locked himself in the car with the keys.