What u doing?

Math, it's due Friday" *I slowly crumple the paper and put it in my mouth* They'll never believe u

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Paper Jokes More Paper Jokes

Why do they ask you if you want paper or plastic at the supermarket?

Because baggers can't be choosers.

Why didn't the piece of paper move out of the way when a car came speeding towards it?

Because it was stationary.

Mouth Jokes More Mouth Jokes

Why is being a politician more difficult than being a ventriloquist?

Ventriloquists have to be able to speak with their mouths closed. Politicians speak out of both sides of their mouths simultaneously.

What do headmasters and bullfrogs have in common ?

Both have big heads that consist mostly of mouth !

Believe Jokes More Believe Jokes

What is the 100% guaranteed way to get younger looking skin?

Believe in reincarnation.

Why don't Buddhists have Instagram?

They don't believe in the concept of a selfie.

Friday Jokes More Friday Jokes

What do you call the day after a sad Friday?

A sadder day.

What are your plans for Easter?

Husband: Same as Jesus.. Wife: What do you mean Husband:I will disappear on Friday and reappear on Monday!!

Math Jokes More Math Jokes

Why do plants hate math?

Because it gives them square roots

What type of math is dead?

Aerith-matic..

U. Jokes More U. Jokes

Where was I conceived, dad?

Dad: Ahh *rubs back of neck* At the Bellagio in Las Vegas. -Rly Dad: Wd I lie to u, Bestwestern Broomcloset

What u call a black woman with 7 abortions?

Crimefighter

Crumple Jokes More Crumple Jokes

What's your opener?

JESUS: "God loves you." You BUDDHA (crumpling paper that says Life Is Suffering): Me too

What u doing?

Math, it's due Friday" *I slowly crumple the paper and put it in my mouth* They'll never believe u