What u doing?

Math, it's due Friday" *I slowly crumple the paper and put it in my mouth* They'll never believe u

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Paper Jokes More Paper Jokes

Want to hear a joke about a piece of paper?

Never mind...it's tearable

Why don't you put an advert in the paper?

Zoo Keeper:"Don't be silly he can't read!"

Mouth Jokes More Mouth Jokes

How did the hipster burn the roof of his mouth?

He ate the pizza before it was cool.

Why is being a politician more difficult than being a ventriloquist?

Ventriloquists have to be able to speak with their mouths closed. Politicians speak out of both sides of their mouths simultaneously.

Believe Jokes More Believe Jokes

What's believing in evolution?

Apetheism

Why didn't the atheist businesswoman make any money?

She didn't believe in prophets.

Friday Jokes More Friday Jokes

What do you get when you cross Jesus and a couple of criminals?

A good Friday

How does an international banker have a good Friday night?

He goes to a bar and slips somebody a Rupee, then gives them a Franc and some Deutsche Marks.

Math Jokes More Math Jokes

What does Math stand for?

Mental Abuse To Humans

What's the difference between math and meth?

One of them ruins your life. The other's just meth.

U. Jokes More U. Jokes

What u doing later?

Wife: That's not what I meant by pick up my towel. Just hand it to me, idiot.

How do U know it's the wrong hole?

No one has done this before, it's just us two you know

Crumple Jokes More Crumple Jokes

What u doing?

Math, it's due Friday" *I slowly crumple the paper and put it in my mouth* They'll never believe u

What should we call this portable computer?

SOME GUY: Laptop everyone applauds...w/ tears in my eyes i crumple a paper that says Kneeputer