How is today Monday?

It was Friday only a few hours ago...

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Today Jokes More Today Jokes

What's the difference between a man who owns a gun and a man who owns a bank?

A man with a gun can rob a bank. A man with a bank can rob the world. (Disclaimer: reword of someone else's post to FB today.)

Why didn't the shy juggler perform at the circus today?

Because he didn't have the balls!

Friday Jokes More Friday Jokes

What do you get when you cross Jesus and a couple of criminals?

A good Friday

Where do Crows hang out on a friday nght?

At a crow bar.

Monday Jokes More Monday Jokes

How do you make a blonde laugh on a Wednesday?

Tell her a joke on a Monday!

Why does Garfield hate Mondays?

He doesn't have a job.

Hour Ago Jokes More Hour Ago Jokes

Why did my wife cross the road?

To go back into the first clothes shop we went into two hours ago.

How is today Monday?

It was Friday only a few hours ago...