What do we say to the god of procrastination?

Not today.

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What's the difference between snow tires and slaves?

Slaves sing when chains are put on them. PS - im going to church today to beg for forgiveness

What is today's special at Google's employee cafeteria?

Alphabet Soup.

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What is the difference between Kanye West and God?

God doesn't think that He's Kanye.

What's the mating call of a sorority girl?

O My GOd! I am so drunk.

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How does procrastination start?

I'll tell you tomorrow.

What do we say to the god of procrastination?

Not today.