What is the only thing on earth that goes "ha ha" on a Monday?

A bit late, but.... A blonde who heard a joke on Friday.

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Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

What's the one thing a woman wants most in this world?

Nothing, she's fine

What is the one thing that all men at singles bars have in common?

They're married.

Earth Jokes More Earth Jokes

Why can you always trust a bee without wings?

Because it's down to earth.

Why did the Earth suddenly enter a manic episode then go back to a depressive episode?

Because it's bipolar.

Joke Jokes More Joke Jokes

What are your best "If I had for every time..." jokes?

Two of my favorites are:

Where do conspiracy theorists keep their ideas?

In a skeptic tank. (Note: I just made up this joke earlier today. I'm not 100% sure the joke is obvious feel free to suggest a better wording!)

Hear Jokes More Hear Jokes

What's the funniest joke you've heard that can be told to a 5th grader?

I always loved this one: (works better said out loud of course) What do you call a fish with no eyes ... A FSHHH

Why can't you hear a viola on a digital recording?

A: Recording technology has reached such an advanced level of development that all extraneous noise is eliminated.

Friday Jokes More Friday Jokes

What day do fries hate the most?

Friday

What do brunettes and red-heads do on Friday nights?

Make blonde jokes!

Monday Jokes More Monday Jokes

What's the difference between a public park and a public toilet?

I need to know before my court date on Monday.

Why do physicists have such a hard time figuring out why their experiments fail Monday through Thursday?

Causal fridays.