Drive Jokes

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Definitely not Sally. Why did Jimmy drop his ice cream? He was hit by a truck Why didn't the truck turn out of the way? Sally Was driving

What's the similarity between an Asian and Spongebob?

Both are yellow and can't drive.

What do the Montreal Canadians drive?

Carrs.

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Why do Norwegians drive Chevys?

They're afraid of drowning in a Fjord.

What's something you can drive, but also throw?

A Fit!!!!!!!!!!

Why can't Helen Keller drive?

Because she's a woman

Why did the witch get a car with manual transmission?

Because she prefers to drive stick!

Why do americans get manuals when buying a new car?

I thought they only drive automatic

Why did everyone turn away when the race car drove past?

It had a SPOILER on it.

Why didn't George like driving through tunnels with people in his car?

He didn't want to get carpool tunnel syndrome.

Why is a beer like a woman?

After you drink one you can't shut up or drive.

What do you call a trucker that doesn't drive anymore?

Semi-retired.

Why can't Saudi woman drive?

There's no road from the kitchen to the bedroom.

Why cant asians drive?

Because cars takes you from A to B

Why do Mexican cars have such small steering wheels?

So they can be driven while handcuffed.

What's four inches long and drives women crazy?

A 100 dollar bill you pervert!

What do you call a car that you only drive in the fall?

An autumn-mobile.

Who earns a living driving their customers away?

A taxi driver

What did C: drive say to D: drive?

Wow you looked shocked.

Why do they put half of the instructions in Spanish?

It drives me crazy. I feel like I am missing out on important information. They should put the whole thing in one language.

Why are boats being driven into the side of the lake?

It's ram a dam

What kind of cars do jedis drive?

A toy-

Whats six inches long and two inches wide and drives women wild?

Money.

What happens when you text while driving?

I don't know, I've never tri

Why did Soviet dictator always drive an automatic transmission?

He was always Stalin in his manual!

What kind of car does Jesus drive?

A Christler.

What car does Luke Skywalker drive?

A Toyoda

What do Driving Testers and Vegetarians have in common?

They are both very pedantic

What kind of car does Yoda drive?

A Toy-Yoda

Why did the siamese twins moved to England?

So the other one would also drive

What do you call a weirdo slowly driving a jeep past an elementary school?

Jeeper creeper!

What's the difference between a 4WD and a rental car?

A rental car can drive anywhere.

How do you ask an Uber driver if he drives for Lyft, too?

Do you even Lyft bro? (I'll see myself out)

What car does Jesus drive?

A Chrysler

What do you get in the Netherlands, when you fail your driving test three times?

A yellow license plate.

How do you tell who loves you more. Your wife or your dog?

Put both of them in the trunk of your car...drive around...open the trunk and see who is happy to see you.

Why did the midget who drove British cars get cabin fever?

He was mini cooped up for to long.

Why does the philosopher have an automatic car..?

Because he Kant drive Immanuel.

What kind of car does Bill Cosby drive?

A Honda quaalude. (Credit to my girlfriend)

What's 6 inches long and 2 inches wide and drives women wild?

deez nuts

What's 6 inches long and 2 inches wide and drives women wild ?

A 100$ bill

What do you get when you cross a Mexican and an Asian?

A car thief who can't drive

How do you drive a Unitarian out of town?

Burn a question mark on their front lawn.

Why does Saudi Arabia have so much oil?

Because the women are not allowed to drive.

What car does Boba Fett drive?

A ManDeLorean.

Why does the prosecutor only choose jurors who drive Hummers?

So that there's no chance of a hung jury

Why couldn't the BMW fit into a narrow parking stall at Target?

because it was being driven by a woman

What did the guy on LSD say while driving on the highway?

Woah, the traffic is moving.

What can hunger do that a woman simply can't?

Drive me to the grocery store.

What is 90-60-90?

Speed while driving past a speed camera.

What pizza chain does Michael J. Fox drive for?

No, not Shakey's you insensitive person. Besides having a crippling disability rendering him unable to drive without risk of damage to the pizza, he is also a B-list celebrity worth many hundreds of thousands of dollars.