What drove the British mystery fan insane?

He lost his Marples.

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Lose Jokes More Lose Jokes

What did the farmer's daughter say when she lost her virginity?

Get off me dad you're crushing my smokes! Or "That'll do pig, that'll do." I have heard it both ways.

What do you call a hippo in Antarctica?

LOST!! (I'll show myself out now)

Drive Jokes More Drive Jokes

Why cant asians drive?

Because cars takes you from A to B

Why are you driving on the sidewalk?

Motorist: It's too dangerous on the street.

British Jokes More British Jokes

What is the British equivalent of wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am?

Honey!" Nut "Cheerio!"

How many British navy Officers does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Only one but it takes him seven weeks to get there.