Why don't the British make computers?

They can't figure out how to make them leak oil.

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Computer Jokes More Computer Jokes

What do you call a computer that is running slow?

Restarted.

Why does my computer say Hello?

Because it's a Dell.

Figure Jokes More Figure Jokes

What do women and the stock market have in common?

If you don't pull out in time, it will cost you a lot of money. My boss said he made this up on the spot yesterday. Never heard it before so I figured I'd post it.

What do you get when you put birthday candles on a pizza?

You can't figure it out I mean, it's a pizz'a cake.

British Jokes More British Jokes

What do you call Jimmy Savile walking down the street?

British ... a paedestrian... *grabs coat, shuffles out of room in silent shame*

What's the difference between British crisps and foreign crisps?

One are Walkers and the others just Lays around.

Leak Jokes More Leak Jokes

What did Kellyanne Conway say about the leaked e-mails?

They're just alternate fax.

Who leaked all of Reddit's most sensitive secrets?

Edward Snooden.

Oil Jokes More Oil Jokes

Why do Americans deep fry so much food?

A. They love OIL

What do you have when you have 1000 whites skydiving?

Oil