How do you know when you're too drunk to drive?

When you swerve to miss a tree and realize it was your air freshener

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Miss Jokes More Miss Jokes

Why does a dog lick it's balls?

Because they're delicious. What? You've never tried them? You're missing out.

Why was the composer late for work?

He missed Debussy. I'll just leave.

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How do we know Princess Diana had dandruff?

They found her Head & Shoulders under the steering wheel!

How do pirates know they exist?

They think, therefore they ARRRRRRRR!

Drive Jokes More Drive Jokes

How do you keep your hair from blowing everywhere when you drive in a convertible?

Cross your legs

Why was the school principal not pleased when he bumped into an old friend ?

They were both driving their cars at the time !

Tree Jokes More Tree Jokes

What's the difference between a black person and Christmas lights?

Nothing. They both look good hanging from trees.

Why did the dog scratch itself against the tree?

Ruff Bark

Realize Jokes More Realize Jokes

Why did the watermelon and the honeydew decide to cancel their spontaneous wedding in Las Vegas?

They realized with a family like theirs, they really Cantaloupe.

Why did the janitor take early retirement?

Because he realized that grime doesn't pay.

Air Jokes More Air Jokes

Why were the hens lying on their backs with their legs in the air ?

Because eggs were going up !

What shape does a muppet follow when throw through the air?

Pa-Ra-Bo-La (do doooo do dodo)

Swerve Jokes More Swerve Jokes

How do you know when you are too drunk to drive?

When you swerve to miss a tree and then realise it was your air freshener..

What kind of vehicle swerved to miss a talking lizard in the road?

Dodged-a-Rango

Freshen Jokes More Freshen Jokes

How do you know when you're too drunk to drive?

When you swerve to miss a tree and realize it was your air freshener

How does a scientist freshen their breath?

With experi-mints!