How do you know when you are too drunk to drive?

When you swerve to miss a tree and then realise it was your air freshener..

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Miss Jokes More Miss Jokes

What is Lionel Messi's favorite soft drink?

Si, era Missed

What do you call a skank playing "H.O.R.S.E?

She missed two shots, so she's a ho. I'll leave now.

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How do you know if a hippo is in your oven?

The door won't close

How do we know Snow White was a hipster?

She could never say no to apple.

Drive Jokes More Drive Jokes

What do you call an Hispanic gentleman who drives a hybrid car?

A green bean.

Why can't woman drive?

Because there are no roads from the bedroom to the kitchen!!

Realise Jokes More Realise Jokes

What did the smoked salmon say after it realised it was no longer ill?

I'm cured!"

What's worse than finding a horse's head on your pillow?

A: Realising the horse is alive and well and how much did I drink last night !

Tree Jokes More Tree Jokes

What types of trees never get Christmas presents?

Knotty Pines.

How do you get a blond out of a tree?

A: Wave

Swerve Jokes More Swerve Jokes

What do you call a doe that swerves all over the road?

A rackless driver...

How do you know when you are too drunk to drive?

When you swerve to miss a tree and then realise it was your air freshener..