How do you know when you are too drunk to drive?

When you swerve to miss a tree and then realise it was your air freshener..

Previous Random Joke Next

Miss Jokes More Miss Jokes

What do bullets and I have in common?

We don't miss Harambe.

What did the sniper say to his wife when he came back from work?

I missed you

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How do you know your house had chicken pox?

It has shingles.

Why was the man hanging out in the market all day?

I don't know, but it was pretty bazaar

Drive Jokes More Drive Jokes

How are women like snow?

They seem really cool at first but then you're sick of them after a couple days and no one wants to be driving when they're on the road

Why don't pirates drive on mountain roads?

Scurvy

Realise Jokes More Realise Jokes

What's worse than finding a horse's head on your pillow?

A: Realising the horse is alive and well and how much did I drink last night !

Why was Orlando Bloom sad when he realised he wasn't able to build small toy houses?

Because he was Legolas.

Tree Jokes More Tree Jokes

What is the fastest way to get a one-armed blonde out of a tree?

A. Wave at her.

What did the lumberjack say to the trees?

Run, Forest, run!

Swerve Jokes More Swerve Jokes

What does a drunk police officer do?

Protect and swerve.

Why did the car swerve off the road?

It hit the chicken. Bazing!