What did Jesus do to lose weight?

Crossfit

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Lose Jokes More Lose Jokes

What dogs never get lost?

Newfound-lands!

What is the best way to get called a ,"genius?

by losing a billion dollars in business.

Jesus Jokes More Jesus Jokes

What's the difference between Jesus and his portrait ?

His portrait only need one nail

How did 1337 Jesus escape his tomb?

X-Post from ProgrammerHumor) He used an encrypted key.

Weight Jokes More Weight Jokes

How does a crackhead lose weight?

Diet Coke.

How do you know when your girlfriend is putting on too much weight?

She starts fitting into your wife's clothes.

Crossfit Jokes More Crossfit Jokes

What's the difference between CrossFit and a cult?

A torn ACL

What's the hardest part about being a Vegan who does Crossfit and owns a Rescue dog?

Deciding which to tell people first.