Why don't you see many chemists with master's degrees working with acids and bases?

To really understand acids and bases, you need a pHd.

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Work Jokes More Work Jokes

What do you do when your lawnmower stops working?

Deport him

Why are Aspirins and Paracetamol white?

Well, you want them to work, don't you?

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

Why did the library book go to the doctor?

It needed to be checked out it had a bloated appendix.

Why doesn't Stephen Hawking need a wife?

Because he has his own shoulder to cry on. Edit: all credit goes to /u/Earleebird who posted it in a comment in /r/oldschoolcool

Understand Jokes More Understand Jokes

Why do Christian bands only record with Pro Tools?

Because they don't understand how to use Logic or Reason.

Why can nobody understand sausages when they talk???

Because they speak in tongs. I'll show myself the door

Chemist Jokes More Chemist Jokes

What does a chemist say when he's pouring water into an acid?

Drop the base.

How do you determine which of two people is a chemist and which is a plumber?

One of them makes crack while the other just markets it.

Acid Jokes More Acid Jokes

What career choice to hippies usually pick?

Chemistry, because there is lots of acid involved.

Why do people on acid listen to Dubstep?

Because if they didn't drop the base it would be a neutral reaction and they wouldn't feel the psychedelic effects.

Phd Jokes More Phd Jokes

What do you call a PHD in religious studies?

Gods doctor.

What does the Chinese government call an American with a PhD in physics, math and chemistry?

STUPID AMERICAN!

Basis Jokes More Basis Jokes

Why can't random men check random women's breasts for cancel?

Because that sort of information is on a knead to know basis.

Why don't you see many chemists with master's degrees working with acids and bases?

To really understand acids and bases, you need a pHd.