Ireland Jokes

What is the difference between St. Patrick and Christopher Columbus?

One drove all the snakes from Ireland, the other drove away all of the Native Americans.

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What time is it in Ireland when someone farts too much?

Two-forty (use an Irish accent)... It's two-farty

What is the stinkiest number in Ireland?

Farty.

Why wasn't Christ born in Ireland?

Because they couldn't find 3 wise men and a virgin.

Why did the pirate go to Ireland?

he thought he was going to Arrrland.

What do you call a fast sheep in Ireland?

A virgin.

What do you call a pirate from Ireland??

Arrrish

What did Saint Patrick say as he drove the snakes out of Ireland?

Are ye alright in the back there lads?

Why are there so many people in Ireland?

Cos' they keep Dublin and Dublin and Dublin...

What do you say if your peeing in Ireland and spot a leprechaun?

Urine luck

Why Ireland so rich?

Because its capital is always Dublin.

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Why wasn't Jesus born in Ireland?

They couldn't find 3 wise men and a virgin.

What do you call sunscreen in Ireland?

Pubs

Where did AT&T get their 2007 slogan?

Ireland: More bars in more places

Why is Dublin the capital of Ireland?

Cause it keeps on Dublin and Dublin.

What's the difference between Iceland and Ireland?

A consonant.

What's the difference between Ireland and America?

When we say waterboarding in Ireland it means surfing.

Why is everyone investing in Ireland?

because the capital is always Dublin!

Why is it so expensive to live in Ireland?

Cause they keep *Dublin* the taxes.

Why is Ireland the richest country in the world?

Because it's capital is always Dublin.

What is similar between Spain, Ireland, and the United States?

Their economies falter after a popping of a housing bubble.

What side of the road do they drive on in ireland?

None. They're so drunk and violent no one is allowed to drive.

Why is the capitol of Ireland growing so fast?

because the population is always Dublin.

How do you unite both the Catholics and Protestants in Ireland?

By sending in millions of Muslims

What do you call a set of chairs kept outside in Ireland?

Paddy O' Furniture

Where did AT&ampT get their 2007 slogan?

Ireland: More bars in more places

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Capital Jokes More Capital Jokes

Why is Dublin the capital of Ireland?

Cause it keeps on Dublin and Dublin.

What's the capital of Wisconsin?

Pee Jokes More Pee Jokes

What happens when everyone in the country takes a pee at the same time?

What happens when everyone in the country takes a pee at the same time? Urine-nation!

Why bother drinking water?

You're just gonna pee it out. This is what Big Water doesn't want you to know.

3 Jokes More 3 Jokes

Why wasn't Jesus born in Puerto Rico?

He couldn't find 3 wise men or a virgin.

What are you gonna argue about with your family this Thanksgiving?

1. Minimum wage 2. Police reform 3. Why are there raisins in this, Louise

Iceland Jokes More Iceland Jokes

Where do noobs live in Iceland?

Rekt-javk

What do you call the kid of an Iceland and Cuban parents?

Ice cubes.

At&T Jokes More At&T Jokes

Why didn't the NSA request AT&T's phone records?

Because they can't monitor all those dropped calls!

Why did all the prisoners at the AT&T jail escape?

Because they had no bars on their cells!

Fart Jokes More Fart Jokes

What was the question?

Son: "Who's farted"

What does the US military and a fart have in common?

Air Force

Smell Jokes More Smell Jokes

Why do anarchists smell so bad?

Because they're *revolting*

Why do little girls put fishes down their pants?

So the can smell like big girls!

Think Jokes More Think Jokes

How do fast food restaurants make so much money?

OC "They flip burgers for profit!" Just thought of this at a baseball game today, kinda quirky and simple!

What did everyone think?

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