What do you call a spider that likes 80s music?

A Durantula.

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What kind of watch is best for people who don't like time on their hands?

A pocket watch.

Why did the lights go out?

Because they liked each other.

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What did pirate say when he turned 80?

AYE MATEY

What has eight arms and an IQ of 80?

Four girlfriends drinking on St Patricks Day!

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What does a spider want to be when he grows up?

This is really good guys...brace yourselves..........) A web designer.

What do you get when you cross a pig and a spider?

Bacon and scrambled leggs.