Spider Jokes

What do you call a spider that likes 80s music?

A Durantula.

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What do you call a web developer who enjoys finding bugs in the system?

A spider

Which web developer enjoys finding bugs?

A spider!

Why did the recruiter hire a Spider ?

Q: Why did the recruiter hire a Spider ? A: Because he wanted to hire a Strong "Web Developer".

What do you get when you cross a bear and a spider?

A six-legged, honey-lovin', web-spinnin'

Why was the spider inside the Computer?

He was looking for a webpage!

What's Varys the Spider's favorite OS?

Unix

What do you call a spider that wants to overthrow the government?

An anarchid.

What's a spiders favorite way to learn?

A webinar.

Why can't you talk to spiders who get shut in pianos?

They'll B flat

What animal is two animals at the same time?

The Cat: because is a cat and a spider :) ... oh, wait.

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What does Bob the spider do for a living?

He's a web developer.

What has two legs and looks like a spider?

A spider. (They have two legs and an additional six legs also)

What did the spider say when he broke his new web ?

Darn it !

Where do spiders play their FA Cup final ?

Webley stadium !

What do you call a David Bowie tribute band made up of astro-arachnologists?

The Spiders from Mars :(

What's wrong with that?

You've seen spiders before. Boy: Yes but this one is three feet wide and using all the hot water!

How do spiders drive a van?

10 on top 10 below Where would you like to go Get in. Get in the Spider Van.

What kind of insects to secret agents like?

as told by my 9 yr old) Spiders.

What do they call spiders in the Middle East?

Iraqnids

What does a spider want to be when he grows up?

This is really good guys...brace yourselves..........) A web designer.

What do you call spiders in the Middle East?

Iraqnids. Yep. An original.

How do people know spiders are more afraid of me than I am of them?

Like, did you ask him Because only one of us is screaming right now.

What do you call a spider from Baghdad?

An Iraqnid.

What are spiders webs good for ?

Spiders !

What do you call it when a spider gets a pimple?

Arachne

What kind of doctors are like spiders ?

Spin doctors !

Why are you hitting that spider?

wife: I don't like spiders me: Ooooh *grabs newspaper* mother-in-law leaving I don't have to take this

Why are spiders like tops ?

They are always spinning !

What does Spider-man wear when it gets cold out?

A Peter Parka

What did the spider say to the bee ?

Your honey or your life !

What do you call a spider with no legs?

A raisin

What do you get if you cross a spider and an elephant ?

I'm not sure but if you see one walking across the ceiling then run before it collapses !

What do you get when you cross a pig and a spider?

Bacon and scrambled leggs.

Why did the spider buy a car ?

So he could take it out for a spin !

What do you get when you cross a bunny with a spider?

A harenet.

What do you call two spiders who just got married?

A: Newlywebs.

What do you call a Spider-man that is a valet?

A Peter Parker

What's the most common career choice among spiders?

Web development

Why did the spider cross the road?

To get to his website!

Why are spiders so unproductive?

Because they hang out on the web all day!

What does a spider do when he gets angry ?

He goes up the wall !

What's worse than spiders on your piano?

Crabs on your organ

How many spiders does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two.

Why do spiders hate Area 51?

It's a no-fly zone.

Why did you put a toad in your sister's bed?

Son: I couldn't find a spider.

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What kind of bug do you find on a long car ride?

An I-shoulda-pede.

Whatcha inventing?

I call it a picnic. It's a meal but outside with bugs and a high risk of bear attack." "Can I bring my kids " "Sure."

Bite Jokes More Bite Jokes

Why couldn't the Gorilla pitcher make it in the major leagues?

His balk was worse than his bite!

What they say: Want a bite of my sandwich?

What I hear: How much of this sandwich can you fit in your mouth

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why did the moth nibble a hole in the carpet ?

He wanted to see the floor show !

Why can't the incredible hulk find a girlfriend?

Because all the girls know he just wants to smash

Enjoy Jokes More Enjoy Jokes

Why are condoms transparent?

A: So that sperms can at least enjoy the scene even if their entry is Restricted!

What do you call a person who enjoy mondays?

Unemployed

Australian Jokes More Australian Jokes

What do you call an Australian who discriminates against different types of rice?

Rice-ist!

Why can't Australians play chess?

They keep saying check, mate.

Sack Jokes More Sack Jokes

What's worse than finding a sack of spider eggs in your room?

Finding a sack of hatched spider eggs in your room

Why was Santa sacked two days before Christmas?

Elf and safety

Hire Jokes More Hire Jokes

Why was Mac OS X hired as the prison guard?

Because he kept locking up.

Why did the company hire the glutton?

Because he was a ate professional!

Drive Jokes More Drive Jokes

When I see a "How am I driving?

sticker, I want to take the driver in my arms and tell them that I too have questions about my existence

Why did nVidia built the first self-driving car?

on all conditions) Because their drivers keep crashing.