Spider Jokes

What do you call a spider that likes 80s music?

A Durantula.

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What do you call a web developer who enjoys finding bugs in the system?

A spider

Which web developer enjoys finding bugs?

A spider!

Why did the recruiter hire a Spider ?

Q: Why did the recruiter hire a Spider ? A: Because he wanted to hire a Strong "Web Developer".

What do you get when you cross a bear and a spider?

A six-legged, honey-lovin', web-spinnin'

Why was the spider inside the Computer?

He was looking for a webpage!

What's Varys the Spider's favorite OS?

Unix

What do you call a spider that wants to overthrow the government?

An anarchid.

What's a spiders favorite way to learn?

A webinar.

Why can't you talk to spiders who get shut in pianos?

They'll B flat

What animal is two animals at the same time?

The Cat: because is a cat and a spider :) ... oh, wait.

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What does Bob the spider do for a living?

He's a web developer.

What has two legs and looks like a spider?

A spider. (They have two legs and an additional six legs also)

What did the spider say when he broke his new web ?

Darn it !

Where do spiders play their FA Cup final ?

Webley stadium !

What do you call a David Bowie tribute band made up of astro-arachnologists?

The Spiders from Mars :(

What's wrong with that?

You've seen spiders before. Boy: Yes but this one is three feet wide and using all the hot water!

How do spiders drive a van?

10 on top 10 below Where would you like to go Get in. Get in the Spider Van.

What kind of insects to secret agents like?

as told by my 9 yr old) Spiders.

What do they call spiders in the Middle East?

Iraqnids

What does a spider want to be when he grows up?

This is really good guys...brace yourselves..........) A web designer.

What do you call spiders in the Middle East?

Iraqnids. Yep. An original.

How do people know spiders are more afraid of me than I am of them?

Like, did you ask him Because only one of us is screaming right now.

What do you call a spider from Baghdad?

An Iraqnid.

What are spiders webs good for ?

Spiders !

What do you call it when a spider gets a pimple?

Arachne

What kind of doctors are like spiders ?

Spin doctors !

Why are you hitting that spider?

wife: I don't like spiders me: Ooooh *grabs newspaper* mother-in-law leaving I don't have to take this

Why are spiders like tops ?

They are always spinning !

What does Spider-man wear when it gets cold out?

A Peter Parka

What did the spider say to the bee ?

Your honey or your life !

What do you call a spider with no legs?

A raisin

What do you get if you cross a spider and an elephant ?

I'm not sure but if you see one walking across the ceiling then run before it collapses !

What do you get when you cross a pig and a spider?

Bacon and scrambled leggs.

Why did the spider buy a car ?

So he could take it out for a spin !

What do you get when you cross a bunny with a spider?

A harenet.

What do you call two spiders who just got married?

A: Newlywebs.

What do you call a Spider-man that is a valet?

A Peter Parker

What's the most common career choice among spiders?

Web development

Why did the spider cross the road?

To get to his website!

Why are spiders so unproductive?

Because they hang out on the web all day!

What does a spider do when he gets angry ?

He goes up the wall !

What's worse than spiders on your piano?

Crabs on your organ

How many spiders does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two.

Why do spiders hate Area 51?

It's a no-fly zone.

Why did you put a toad in your sister's bed?

Son: I couldn't find a spider.

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The referee said he wanted a clean fight. :D

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Why did Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson have to change his diet?

Because his nutritionist said he had too many minerals in his system!

What bands did they hire to play at the Developmental Disability Conference?

System of a Downs My Chemical Imbalance. Youth In Asia

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What does it mean when the Post Office flag is flying at half-staff?

They are hiring.

What did the bat say to the other bat when he almost flew into a tree?

Whoa did you hear that?

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What do you mean pi r square?

Pies are round

Why are people so sore about Russia taking the Crimea?

I mean cry me a river river right

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Why do women have legs for?

To not leave a snail trail behind them.

What's got four legs and one arm?

An attack dog in a preschool.

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Why was Jesus not born in West Virginia?

Because they couldn't find three wise men or a virgin. Gf sent me this when she was driving through the state.

What do you find in an elephants graveyard ?

Elephantoms !

Bug Jokes More Bug Jokes

What kind of bug wants to buy lawn turf?

A gras shopper.

What's the difference between a penalty shot in basketball, and a tiny curly wig designed for a bug?

One is a free throw, and the other is a flea 'fro.