Why are you hitting that spider?

wife: I don't like spiders me: Ooooh *grabs newspaper* mother-in-law leaving I don't have to take this

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Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

What's the deal with reddit being obsessed about puns?

I've never... META ... group of people so obsessed with puns before.. Fine, I'll leave :(:(

What do you call it when an alcoholic stops drinking?

A leave of Absinthe.

Like Jokes More Like Jokes

Why your fingers have spaces in between?

nothing!why? would you like it to be very close to each other. You're not a duck!

What's the difference between a hippie and a geologist?

Not much. One likes getting stones, the other likes getting stoned.

Hit Jokes More Hit Jokes

What do you call two homeless people hitting each other with garbage bags?

A Pillow Fight

What's your favourite priest and a rabbi joke?

Been awhile since I've her some priest and a rabbi jokes. Hit me with your best one! Mine: a priest and a rabbi are waking down the street The priest asks " wanna screw some kids?" The rabbi replies "out if what?"

Mother Jokes More Mother Jokes

What did the kid say to his mother right before he went to India?

Mumbai

What did the ant whisper into the elephant's ear that made the elephant faint?

I'm going to be the mother of your children." I have no idea whether the joke is lost in translation...

Law Jokes More Law Jokes

Which purse runs from the law?

Disburse!

What's the difference between onions and your mother-in-law?

You don't cry when chopping your mother-in-law.

Spider Jokes More Spider Jokes

What do you get when you cross a pig and a spider?

Bacon and scrambled leggs.

Why did the spider cross the road?

To get to his website!