Why are you hitting that spider?

wife: I don't like spiders me: Ooooh *grabs newspaper* mother-in-law leaving I don't have to take this

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Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

Why does Beyonce sing, "To the left, to the left!"?

Because black women have no rights.

What did the balding German frau exclaim when her husband left her?

Ach! I tink I'm losing mein Herr!

Like Jokes More Like Jokes

How do you know if someone doesn't like Football and isn't going to watch the Super Bowl?

They'll tell you

What tick likes to run?

Politicks

Hit Jokes More Hit Jokes

What did the divers find the sunken Korean ferry had hit?

Malaysia Airlines Flight 370

What did the hungry Dalmatian say when he had a meal ?

That hit the spots !

Mother Jokes More Mother Jokes

What did King Kong say when he saw the Statue of Liberty?

Are you my mother

What do you call a mother who is overweight and poor?

Beef on WIC

Law Jokes More Law Jokes

Whats the difference between an in-law and an outlaw?

One of them is actually wanted!

What is the difference... What is the difference between unlawful and illegal?

One is against the law and the other is a sick bird.

Spider Jokes More Spider Jokes

Why did the spider buy a car ?

So he could take it out for a spin !

What do you call spiders in the Middle East?

Iraqnids. Yep. An original.