What does Spider-man wear when it gets cold out?

A Peter Parka

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How did spider-man reach the inner city kids?

He web-slang

What do Spider-Man and Windows 98 have in common?

They're always rebooting.

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Why is it a bad idea to wear tiny shorts on a Ukranian holiday?

Chernobyl fallout.

What sort of clothes does a pet dog wear ?

A petticoat !

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What do you call a spider that likes 80s music?

A Durantula.

What did the spider say to the bee ?

Your honey or your life !