What does Spider-man wear when it gets cold out?

A Peter Parka

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What does Spider-man wear when it gets cold out?

A Peter Parka

How did spider-man reach the inner city kids?

He web-slang

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Why does a blonde insist on him wearing a condom?

A: So she can have a doggie bag for later.

Why do hippies wear patchouli?

So blind people can hate them, too.

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What's wrong with that?

You've seen spiders before. Boy: Yes but this one is three feet wide and using all the hot water!

What do you call a spider from Baghdad?

An Iraqnid.