Why did Ayn Rand lose the pool tournament?

She wouldn't play on a regulation size table

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What do a redneck divorce and a burning meth lab have in common?

Someone's losing a trailer.

Why did the marine biologist jump off a bridge?

He lost his porpoise in life.

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Why should you always take two pairs of trousers when you play golf?

In case you get a hole in one!

Why doesn't Jesus play basketball?

He got crossed up.