Why did Ayn Rand lose the pool tournament?

She wouldn't play on a regulation size table

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What do you give a losing horse with lockjaw?

A new jaw-key

What would be the worst possible thing to see on Reddit after losing your family in a car crash?

removed (two children)

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What do I get when I raise up a platform to play Mozart?

Amadeus on my dais.

Why can't Bach play the piano?

He "Baroque" his arm, and also he's dead.