Why did Ayn Rand lose the pool tournament?

She wouldn't play on a regulation size table

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How did Jared lose 30 pounds?

He dumped his girlfriend.

What did the farmers daughter say when she lost her virginity?

Get off me dad your crushing my smokes!

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Why can't fashion designers play uno?

Because they always draw a cardigan.

What's your emergency Possum: MY CHILDREN ARE ALL DEAD! Possum 911: You sure they aren't just playing?

Possum: Oh yeah