Christopher Columbus Jokes

What is the difference between St. Patrick and Christopher Columbus?

One drove all the snakes from Ireland, the other drove away all of the Native Americans.

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How did Christopher Columbus 'discover' America?

By occident

How did Christopher Columbus find India?

He used Apple Maps.

What did George Washington Abraham Lincoln and Christopher Columbus all have in common?

They were all born on holidays."

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What is the difference between a tube and a foolish Dutchman?

One is a hollow cylinder and the other a silly Hollander. Source (Cause I can't claim fame for Victorian era jokes):

How did Mitt Romney get a 14% tax rate?

He claimed 47% of America as dependents.

St. Patrick Jokes More St. Patrick Jokes

Why do people wear shamrocks on St. Patrick's Day?

Regular rocks are too heavy.

What's the difference between St. Patrick's Day and Martin Luther King Day?

Everyone pretends to be Irish on St. Paddy's Day.

George Washington Jokes More George Washington Jokes

What would George Washington do if he was alive today?

Probably get suffocated in his collapsed coffin

Why was George Washington buried on Mount Vernon?

Because he was dead!

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Why did the californian celebrate his birthday a day earlier?

He moved down-under!!

Why do programmers celebrate Christmas on Halloween?

Because OCT 31 == DEC 25

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

Whats the difference between Game of Thrones and Twitter?

Twitter only allows 160 characters

What's the difference between a sigh a car and a monkey?

A sigh is oh dear. A car is too dear. A monkey is you dear.

Ireland Jokes More Ireland Jokes

What's the difference between Ireland and America?

When we say waterboarding in Ireland it means surfing.

What did Saint Patrick say as he drove the snakes out of Ireland?

Are ye alright in the back there lads?

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What do you call a slow-learner born the beginning of August?

A leotard

What do you call a bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear!

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What do you call a Mexican who can't find his car?

Carlos

Where do you find a liberal at a convention?

In the far left corner!