Why does a redneck hold a knife while driving?

So he can cut corners.

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Hold Jokes More Hold Jokes

What does it mean when a man is in your bed, gasping for air, and calling your name?

You didn't hold down the pillow for long enough.

Why is the Force like duct tape?

It has a dark side, a light side, and it holds the universe together.

Drive Jokes More Drive Jokes

Why did the monster take a dead man for a drive in his car?

Because he was a car-case.

Why is Def leppard the best band to listen to while driving?

Because you only need one arm to drum along..

Knife Jokes More Knife Jokes

What do you call a salad that's been cut with a knife?

Ceasar

What makes you think this is steak?

While I stroked his thigh with a knife.

Cut Jokes More Cut Jokes

What did the college junior say just before her toe was cut off?

NO PLEASE DON'T CUT OFF MY TOE!

Why didn't the shepard cut off his sheep's wool?

Shear laziness.

Redneck Jokes More Redneck Jokes

What do you call a redneck with a functioning car?

Lucky

Why do Rednecks love cheeseburgers?

Because they are in bread.

Corner Jokes More Corner Jokes

Why is there no Walmarts in Afghanistan?

Because there's a Target on every corner.

What should you do when you are cold?

Stand in a corner, corners are 90 degrees