Why does a redneck hold a knife while driving?

So he can cut corners.

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Hold Jokes More Hold Jokes

What do you get when you hold a mothball in your left hand and a mothball in your right hand?

A rather excited moth

Why did Sepp Blatter resign from the FIFA president position?

He just couldn't hold it any longer.

Drive Jokes More Drive Jokes

How did a blind man drive his car?

A: One hand on the wheel the other on the road.

What is six inches long, has a bald head, and drives blondes crazy?

A hundred dollar bill.

Knife Jokes More Knife Jokes

Why did the knife quit?

It couldn't CUT IT! woohoo! I made this one up while sitting at a buffet table. Enjoy! Skip

What's the fastest way to get to a woman's heart?

A knife.

Cut Jokes More Cut Jokes

What does Johnny Depp say when cutting down trees?

TIMBUUUUUUUURTON

What kind of engine did you put in it?

cut to me filling my car with tomato soup* Me: Um... A fast one.

Redneck Jokes More Redneck Jokes

What does NASCAR really stand for?

Non Athletic Sport Centered Around Rednecks

How do redneck Na'vi get their skin tone?

Blue Genes... I'll be here all week

Corner Jokes More Corner Jokes

What if your corner isn't 90 degrees?

Well, it just wouldn't be right.

How do you stay warm outside in the winter?

You just stand in a corner, they are usually around 90 degrees.