How to lose a gf: Gf: which of my friends would be the most fun to have a 3some with?

Me: *names two of them*

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Why did Heisenberg remove the speedometer from his car?

So he would stop getting lost everything he checked it.

Why did Verizon's mailman get fired?

He was losing packets.

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Why does the mushroom have a lot of friends?

He's a fungi

What's your favorite pirate joke?

Friend has an eyepatch on for some reason or another and I'm running out of decent jokes.

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What happened did someone try to break into your house?

Me: No. My gf said we needed to talk

How to lose a gf: Gf: which of my friends would be the most fun to have a 3some with?

Me: *names two of them*

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What do you call a kid with no arms and legs and severe Down syndrome?

Names

What do you call a stupid kid in pre-school?

Names.

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Why are horses no fun?

Because they are neigh-sayers

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It's intense!