What would you do if you won the lottery?

Two friends meet together and one asks: What would you do if you won the lottery? -I would build a brothel! Oh, and if it went wrong and you loose money? -I'd open it to the public

Previous Random Joke Next
Build Jokes More Build Jokes

What's that Sarge?

Someone's building a pig."

What kind of snake is good at building things?

A boa constructor.

Brothel Jokes More Brothel Jokes

Why do brothels support Hillary?

Cause #FeelTheBern would be bad for business.

Why did the brothel run out of money?

Why did the brothel run out of money? Because all of the investors pulled out.

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

What did the pot-smoking alien say when asked what toppings he wanted on his sammich?

Ayy lil' mayo.

What was Lincoln's worst decision as President?

He should have asked for a table, instead of a Booth

Win Jokes More Win Jokes

What do you call the amount of time it takes to win an argument with a lawyer?

An attornity.

Why would I play something I have no chance of winning?

I replied.

Friend Jokes More Friend Jokes

Why does the lemon feel uncomfortable making friends outside of tumblr?

Because it has cis-trust issues

What is Putin to Ukraina, a friend or a brother ?

A brother, because you can choose your friends.

Open Jokes More Open Jokes

Who's there ! Ali ! Ali who ?

Ali-luyah at last you've opened the door !

How does a New York University psychology major turn on his lights in the morning?

By opening the car door.

Meet Jokes More Meet Jokes

What does a shooting star say to his buddy before he dies?

Meet me - oh, right.."

Why did you leave me here all alone?

Where o where are you tonight? Why did you leave me here all alone? I searched the world over and thought I found some one You met a zombie and pblblthpth you were gone.

Money Jokes More Money Jokes

What do you call two siblings that take your money?

Fine brothers

What's the difference between a politician and an actor?

One acts solely for money, the other is the actor.

I. Jokes More I. Jokes

Why did you leave your last job?

I had a typo in a tweet. "Mistakes happen!" -I worked for Yahoo Finance. "Thanks for coming in. Bye"

What would you do if you won the lottery?

Two friends meet together and one asks: What would you do if you won the lottery? -I would build a brothel! Oh, and if it went wrong and you loose money? -I'd open it to the public

Lottery Jokes More Lottery Jokes

What lottery did the broom win?

The sweepstakes.

Why did the Greenlander get so angry when he didn't win the lottery?

Because he was inuit to win it

Public Jokes More Public Jokes

What did the doctor say when he saw two fetuses being too affectionate in public?

Get a womb, you two."

Why wouldn't the teacher fart in public?

Because she was a private tutor