Why did the hick move to a toxic waste dump after winning the lottery?

They heard it was a Superfund site.

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Win Jokes More Win Jokes

Why can't Bernie Sanders win the election?

Because 12 year olds can't vote. Edit: I'm actually somewhat of a Bernie supporter, I'm just joking about how he has a lot of youth backing him.

What does a Bears fan do when his team wins the Superbowl?

He turns off his Xbox, and goes to bed.

Hear Jokes More Hear Jokes

Why did Mary Magdalene have an affair with Jesus?

She heard about his second coming

What do you call a deaf dinosaur?

Anything you like - he can't hear you.

Lottery Jokes More Lottery Jokes

What does a guy who can predict the lottery numbers 99% of the time have in common with the letters C, D, G, H, J, K, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, and Z?

They're not infallible

What's the difference between a person that just won the lottery and a fairy in salt water?

One is tickled pink, the other is a pickled Tink.

Hick Jokes More Hick Jokes

What do you call a country bumpkin from Michigan's Upper Peninsula?

A: A hick-UP

Why did the hick move to a toxic waste dump after winning the lottery?

They heard it was a Superfund site.

Toxic Waste Dump Jokes More Toxic Waste Dump Jokes

Why is it that New Jersey got all the toxic waste dumps and California got all the lawyers?

New Jersey had first choice.

Why does California have more lawyers and New Jersey have more toxic waste dumps?

New Jersey got to choose first