Who run da world?

points mic at me* ME: having briefly heard the song once before ...squirrels

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Point Jokes More Point Jokes

What did the pencil say to the sharpener?

Stop going in circles and get to the point.

What's the difference between feminists and a pencil?

A pencil has a point.

Hear Jokes More Hear Jokes

Which kid is yours?

Me: I don't have kids. I just heard the teachers here are hot. T: M: How you doin'

Why can't humans hear a dog whistle?

Because dogs can't whistle. (X-post from r/dadjokes)

Run Jokes More Run Jokes

Why isn't the Vice President running for the Democratic Nomination this year?

He's Biden his time.

Why did the boy die when a car ran over his finger?

His finger was up his nose.

Song Jokes More Song Jokes

What did Goku say when he heard his wife listening to the song, "Fancy"?

Aye, Chi-Chi, Why?

Why did Gandalf never listen to the song "Dream Police"?

Because he was no conjurer of Cheap Trick

Squirrel Jokes More Squirrel Jokes

Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree?

It died.

What animal do psychiatrists bring in to mental hospitals to help patients with social anxiety?

Squirrels they're the best at getting nuts out of their shells.