Public Jokes

What would you do if you won the lottery?

Two friends meet together and one asks: What would you do if you won the lottery? -I would build a brothel! Oh, and if it went wrong and you loose money? -I'd open it to the public

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug
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Coffee Mug

What did the doctor say when he saw two fetuses being too affectionate in public?

Get a womb, you two."

What do you call someone who refuses to fart in public?

A Private Tutor.

What do you call a teacher that doesn't fart in public?

A private tooter

What do you say when you see two cleaning ladies making out in public?

Get a broom.

How many politicians does it take to change a lightbulb?

Just two. One to explain to the public that everything possible is being done to solve the problem, and the other to screw the lightbulb into the water faucet.

What happens when Supper stars fart in public?

lol

What do you call a guy that never farts in public?

A privet tutor

What do you call someone who never farts in public?

A PRIVATE TUTOR

What do a Yugo and a bath have in common?

You can't step out of them in public.

Why wouldn't the teacher fart in public?

Because she was a private tutor

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug
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Coffee Mug

What do you call a guy who does not fart in public?

A private tutor.

Why was the man arrested for looking at sets of dentures in a dentist's window?

Because it was against the law to pick your teeth in public.

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Drummer Jokes More Drummer Jokes

How do you get a drummer off your doorstep?

You pay for the pizza.

What do you call a guy with no musical talent that hangs out with the band?

The drummer.

Public Pool Jokes More Public Pool Jokes

Why did the elephants get kicked out of the public pool?

THEY KEPT DROPPING THEIR TRUNKS!

Where is the safest place to stay at Ferguson?

The public pool, if it is too crowded try the library.

Lightbulb Jokes More Lightbulb Jokes

How many flys does it to take screw in a lightbulb?

Two, but don't ask me how they got in there.

How many anti-Trump protesters does it take to change a lightbulb?

TRICK QUESTION. THEY CAN'T CHANGE ANYTHING.

Build Jokes More Build Jokes

What's the difference between a guy falling from the 20th or the 1st floor of a building?

20th floor fall goes: *Aaaaaah, BAM!* 1st floor fall goes: *BAM, Aaaaah!*

How does an Eskimo build his house?

Igloos it together.

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

What do liberals and homeless people have in common?

They are always asking for change.

How many women have you slept with My wife asked me, "How many women have you slept with?

I proudly replied, "Only you, Darling. With all the others I was awake."

Trade Jokes More Trade Jokes

Why did the chicken go to the car dealership?

she wanted to trade the coop for a sedan..

What's the difference between a drummer and publicly traded stock?

Publicly traded stock will mature and make money.

Connect Jokes More Connect Jokes

What's the difference between a USB and the USA?

One connects to all your devices and accesses your data, the other is a harware standard.

How do chickens connect online?

faceBAWK!

Mature Jokes More Mature Jokes

What's the difference between a millennial and a mutual fund?

A mutual fund will eventually mature and make money

What is the difference between a guitar player and government bonds?

Government bonds mature over time and earn money