Name Jokes

What do you call a stupid kid in pre-school?

Names.

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How does a black mother tell her children apart?

She remembers them by their last names.

What do you call a kid with no arms and an eyepatch?

Names!

What do you call a kid with an eye patch, braces and a lisp?

Names

What was Rudolph's nickname?

Names. Because they used to laugh and call him Names. Credit to my dad.

What do you call a kid with no legs, no arms and an eyepatch?

Names.

What do you call a boy with no arms and an eye patch?

Names! -Bo Burnham

What do you call a kid with no arms and no legs?

Names

What do you call a boy with no arms and an eyepatch????

Names

How does she tell them apart?

Their last names.

What do you call someone with one arm and no legs?

Names

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What do you call a kid with no arms, no legs, and an eyepatch?

Names.

What do George Michael and Carrie Fisher have in common?

Both their first names have six letters. That's it. For now. Edit: they're both dead.

How to lose a gf: Gf: which of my friends would be the most fun to have a 3some with?

Me: *names two of them*

What is the difference between a English actuary and a Sicilian actuary?

An English actuary can tell you how many people are going to die next year. A Sicilian actuary can give you their names...

What were their names?

Hot and Cold.

Which two names figure prominently in every Ape's diet?

Ben/Anna!

How did she tell them apart?

She looked at their last names...

What do you call a guy with no arms or legs in a high school?

Names

How to make your God proud?

By abusing his names in other languages.

What medications do I take?

I'm not sure. The names on my neighbor's prescription bottles are ridiculously long

What do you call a kid with no arms and legs and severe Down syndrome?

Names

How can you tell the difference between all the banjo songs?

A: By their names.

Why don't you try calling them names too?

Steve: "I can't, they're so beautiful"

What did the black mother name her 5 daughters?

Tyrone, Tyrone, Tyrone, Tyrone, and Tyrone. How did she tell them apart She called them by their last names!

What do you call a kid with no arms, no legs, and an eye patch?

Names.

What do you call a kid with an eyepatch and no limbs?

Names.

Why are there broken condoms on the couch?

Wife: Would you please call our children by their names!

What did the dumb blonde say when told that "Scheherezade" was composed by Rimsky-Korsakov ?

A: "Why'd his mom choose to call him Rimsky of all names !! "

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What's the most efficient fuel to use when chasing cars?

Snow Petrol!

What did the undertaker say as the coffin fell out of the car?

We'll have to rehearse that."

Lorde Jokes More Lorde Jokes

Why is Lorde named thusly?

She isn't named thusly, she's named Lorde.

What was Philip Seymour Hoffman's favorite album this year?

Pure Heroine by Lorde.

Bed Jokes More Bed Jokes

What should you do if you find a witch in your bed?

Run!

What do spies say in bed?

Shh I'm undercovers

Write Jokes More Write Jokes

How many monkeys does it take to write a Shakespeare novel by accident?

As many as it takes submitters to write an original joke. (by accident)

Why shouldn't you write with a broken pencil?

It's pointless just like this post

Forget Jokes More Forget Jokes

How do you remember your wedding anniversary?

Forget it once.

Why should you distrust atoms?

Because they make up an awful lot of stuff. EDIT: Because I forgot about neutrinos.

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

When using the equation Y=1-T to understand how citizens react to changes in taxation...what happens when T&gt1?

Alot of T gets dumped in a harbor

What did the boy say when he had trouble using glue?

I'm stuck.

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How do you know If your girlfriend is Canadian?

Look at her beaver.

What's a nanny's favorite letter?

I don't know, but it's not E.

Coffee Jokes More Coffee Jokes

Where do bourgeois monarchists get their coffee?

Tsarbucks

Where do birds meet for coffee ?

In a nest-cafe !