How did the date go?

Not good. Aww what went wrong -*thinks back to accidentally popping a zit into her soup* She just wasn't my type.

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Think Jokes More Think Jokes

How do you feel about perfumes being designed by computers?

Because I think it makes perfect scents.

What did Chris Christie say when asked if he had plans to run in the 2016 presidential election?

After giving it a substantial amount of thought and discussing it with my advisors, I've decided against it. I mean, I'd love to, and I appreciate those who'd support me, but I feel like I wouldn't be able to take the stress mentally- and physically." After being asked what physical stress he'd experience, he responded: "I don't think I'd be able to handle that much running."

Pop Jokes More Pop Jokes

What happens if you plug your electric blanket into the toaster?

You pop up all night.

What do you call an inflatable dad?

Pops.

Type Jokes More Type Jokes

What type of car insurance does OJ da Juiceman have?

Triple Aaayyy

What type of car does James Bond drive?

00-Sedan

Date Jokes More Date Jokes

When I was young I wanted to date a doctor for money. Can you believe how superficial I was?

Now I would date him for the prescriptions.

How do you impress a baker when you're taking his daughter on a date?

Bring her flours

Soup Jokes More Soup Jokes

What's the difference between mashed potatoes and pea soup?

You can mash potatoes, but you can't pee soup. (sorry sorry. Really. I've loved this joke since I was... oh.. six...)

How was my soup?

Souperb.

Zit Jokes More Zit Jokes

What did the zit say to the other zit while they were making love?

Yeah you like that you dirty pore

What do priests and zits have in common?

They bost bust on 12 year Olds faces