Steven Hawking Jokes

Who has the fastest brain in the world?

Steven Hawking with a brake failure!

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Coffee Mug

How does Steven Hawking refresh after a long work day?

F5 (sorry Imgoingtohellforthis)

What has a tongue, cannot walk, but gets around a lot?

Steven Hawking

Why does Steven Hawking hate the band Muse?

Because he can't stand their song Uprising, it wants him to rise up and take the power back.

Why do kids hate Steven Hawking?

They don't like their vegetables.

What's black and sits at the top of a staircase?

Steven Hawking after a house fire.

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Stand Jokes More Stand Jokes

How did he get off?

It wouldn't stand up in court

How many narcissists does it take to screw in a light-bulb?

One. He stands in place while the whole world revolves around him.

Power Jokes More Power Jokes

What happens in a chinese restaurant when the power goes out?

It'll dim sum

Why did the lawyer with a torn ACL still win the marathon?

OC) Because he had the power of a torn knee

Rise Jokes More Rise Jokes

How does an Australian shave?

Rise up lights

What do Australian emos use to cut their wrists?

Rise up lights

Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

How many kids with ADD does it take to change a lightbulb?

Let's go ride bikes!

What does a monster mom say to her kids at dinnertime?

Don't talk with someone in your mouth.

Hawk Jokes More Hawk Jokes

What's black and sits on top of a staircase?

Stephen Hawking in a house fire.

What do scientists and vegetables have in common?

Stephen Hawking

Tongue Jokes More Tongue Jokes

How can you tell if your house was built by lesbian carpenters?

All tongue-in-groove, with no studs.

How do know a job's been done by a lesbian carpenter?

There are no nails, and no screws, it's all tongue and groove!

Song Jokes More Song Jokes

What the hell am I doing here?

I don't belong here. GUY: I love that song. ME: What song

Why does Steven Hawking hate the band Muse?

Because he can't stand their song Uprising, it wants him to rise up and take the power back.

Vegetable Jokes More Vegetable Jokes

What do you call a group of disabled people in a pool?

Vegetable soup. I apologise to those offended by my terrible joke. Have another Whats the hardest part of cooking a vegetable? Getting the wheelchair into the oven

What's the difference between a potato and a vegetable...?

Not knowing how to use a coathanger...