Steven Hawking Jokes

Who has the fastest brain in the world?

Steven Hawking with a brake failure!

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How does Steven Hawking refresh after a long work day?

F5 (sorry Imgoingtohellforthis)

What has a tongue, cannot walk, but gets around a lot?

Steven Hawking

Why does Steven Hawking hate the band Muse?

Because he can't stand their song Uprising, it wants him to rise up and take the power back.

Why do kids hate Steven Hawking?

They don't like their vegetables.

What's black and sits at the top of a staircase?

Steven Hawking after a house fire.

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Hate Jokes More Hate Jokes

Why did Holden Caulfield hate his job at Sprint?

He was surrounded by phone-ys!

Why does the corn hate the farmer?

Because he picks his ears!

Tongue Jokes More Tongue Jokes

How did the lesbian couple build their house?

Tongue and groove.

What did the banker say to the tongue when he rejected his loan application?

There's no accounting for taste.

World Jokes More World Jokes

Why are women so afraid of looking stupid?

Because they don't want the world to know!

How does a white girl prepare for the world?

Basic training.

Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

What do the Zika virus and Catholic priests have in common?

They both give kids a little head.

Where does the pirate shop for his kid for Christmas?

Toys Arrrrrrrrrrr Us

Uprise Jokes More Uprise Jokes

Why does Steven Hawking hate the band Muse?

Because he can't stand their song Uprising, it wants him to rise up and take the power back.

What would you call an uprising at Charles Xavier's school?

A mutant-y

Vegetable Jokes More Vegetable Jokes

What do vegetables that go to college do on the weekends?

They Turnip

What do you call it when a vegetable suffers heart failure?

A hearti*choke*. ... :D

Wheelchair Jokes More Wheelchair Jokes

What is the worst thing about farming vegetables?

The wheelchairs are too expensive.

How do you know when your vegetables are boiled?

Their wheelchair floats to the top.

Rise Jokes More Rise Jokes

Why is the demand for potato chips rising in China?

They need clean air.

What is better than a rose on a guitarist?

Tulips on my pianist.