What did the double-amputee say when he stood up?

I stand corrected." -From

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Stand Jokes More Stand Jokes

How did the sheep get a Nobel Prize?

It was out standing in its field!

Why couldn't the bicycle stand up?

It was 2 tired...

Double Amputee Jokes More Double Amputee Jokes

Why are double amputees always wrong?

Because they don't have a leg to stand on. Note: I'm a right leg amputee and I made this up myself.

Why couldn't Joe be friends with a double-amputee?

Because he's lack-toes intolerant.

Correct Jokes More Correct Jokes

Why are people still using a dictionary?

I just type the words into Google and see if it corrects me.

Who corrects Santa's grammar?

A subordinate Clause.