What is Stephen Hawking's favourite song?

Satisfaction

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What has hands but can't clap?

Stephen Hawking

Why does Stephen Hawking do one-liners?

Cause he can't do stand-up.

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Why do moslem girls love black guys?

more satisfaction at night for wearing a ninja suit all day.

What did the sign in the Egyptian funeral home say?

Satisfaction guaranteed or double your mummy back"