What has hands but can't clap?

Stephen Hawking

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Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

How many of you believe in psychokinesis?

Raise my hand. - Taken from local Chinese joint fortune cookie.

Why does Helen Keller only masterbate with one hand?

She needs the other to moan.

Stephen Hawk Jokes More Stephen Hawk Jokes

What's the best vegetable to bring to a party?

Stephen Hawking

What do you call Stephen Hawking rolling away from an explosion?

Hot wheels (First joke, hope you like it.)

Hawk Jokes More Hawk Jokes

What do scientists and vegetables have in common?

Stephen Hawking

Who has the fastest brain in the world?

Steven Hawking with a brake failure!

Clap Jokes More Clap Jokes

Why can't dinosaurs clap?

Because they're dead.

What do you call a group of sorority girls/fraternity guys standing in a circle?

A round of applause ...because they all have the clap.