Clap Jokes

Why can't the T-rex clap its hands?

Because it's dead.

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How do you make an orphans hands bleed?

Tell them to clap until daddy gets home

What do you call a group of sorority girls/fraternity guys standing in a circle?

A round of applause ...because they all have the clap.

How many cancer patients does it take to change a lightbulb?

One, and ten people to stand around clapping and saying "Aww, how brave."

Why can't dinosaurs clap their hands?

Because they're dead.

Why can't dinosaurs clap?

Because they're dead.

What disease is most easily contracted by touching your hands together?

The clap.

What has hands but can't clap?

Stephen Hawking

Why can't T-Rexs clap their hands?

Because they're all dead

What do you call a man who claps at Christmas ?

Santapplause !

How many cancer patients does it take to change a lightbulb?

One, and ten people to stand around clapping and saying "Aww, how brave."

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Group Jokes More Group Jokes

What do you call a group of Chlamydia bacteria?

An applause....

How do you keep a group of women from talking?

Ask the oldest one to speak first.

Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

Why doesn't Jesus play volleyball?

All those spikes hurt his hands

What's wet and wiggly and says how do you do sixteen times?

Two octopuses shaking hands.

Circle Jokes More Circle Jokes

What do you call a circle of $100 bills?

Aretha Franklins! (Happy birthday to the Queen of Soul!)

What do you call a bunch of cats sitting in a circle?

The purr-rimiter.

Ginja Jokes More Ginja Jokes

What do you call a red-head ninja?

A ginja.

What do you call a red-headed ninja?

A ginja... Ensue mildly dramatic slow clapping.

Condom Jokes More Condom Jokes

What does a condom have in common with a coffin?

Ones for coming and ones for going.

What's the thin line between love and hate?

A condom.

Dinosaur Jokes More Dinosaur Jokes

What followed the dinosaur ?

It's tail !

Why is it dangerous to go into the jungle between two and four in the afternoon?

That's when dinosaurs are jumping out of palm trees.

Disease Jokes More Disease Jokes

Why do lettuce, cheese, and turkey have so many diseases?

because they're inbred

What disease do police give black people?

Glock coma

Thank Jokes More Thank Jokes

Why don't birds have to wear camouflage?

Joke: Why don't birds have to wear camouflage? Punch: Because they are already "in the skies". Thank you, I'll see myself out.

How did the Romans split up their empire?

With a pair of Caesars. (Thanks )