Computer Scientist Jokes

Why are so many computer scientists atheists?

Because praying for a bug fix is guaranteed to fail.

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Where do computer scientists go to have a drink?

To the foobar.

Why are all computer scientists such pessimists?

They always worry about the worst case!

Why do Computer Scientists always mix up Halloween and Christmas?

Because OCT 31 = DEC 25!

Why did the computer scientist die in the shower?

The shampoo bottle put him in an infinite loop.

How many computer scientists does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, that's a hardware problem

Why do computer scientists get Halloween and Christmas confused?

Because Oct 31 = Dec 25

How do you tell the difference between a computer scientist and an aspiring music artist?

Ask them what 'unsigned' means.

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Bad Case Jokes More Bad Case Jokes

How can you tell you have a really bad case of acne?

It is when the blind try to read your face

Why are all computer scientists such pessimists?

They always worry about the worst case!

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How do you tell the difference between a meth head and a hillbilly?

The meth head still has teeth.

What do you tell someone who is bad at sign language?

You have bad hand writing

Oct 31 Dec Jokes More Oct 31 Dec Jokes

Why do engineers confuse Christmas and Halloween?

Because OCT 31= DEC 25

Why do computer scientists get Halloween and Christmas confused?

Because Oct 31 = Dec 25

Fail Jokes More Fail Jokes

How did the failing Heroes of the Storm player apologize to their teammate?

I'm gonna level with you.

Why did the necromancer fail to meet his quarterly sales goal?

He ran his business on a skeleton crew.

Drink Jokes More Drink Jokes

What do ghosts drink for Halloween?

BOOOOZE!

What do you call a dwarf with a birth defect, is broke and can't drink milk?

Lack toes and tall or rent

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a lawnmower and a bagpipe?

A. You can tune the lawnmower and the owner's neighbors are upset if you borrow the lawnmower and don't return it.

What's the difference between drunk people and black people?

Drunk people are found bars. Black people are found them.

Worry Jokes More Worry Jokes

How can you tell that someone's a vegan?

Don't worry they'll tell you themselves.

How do you know that someone likes to smoke weed?

Don't worry they'll tell you.

Shower Jokes More Shower Jokes

Who cares if you pee in the shower?

The bride and all her guests, apparently.

What does Spock sing in the shower?

What does Spock sing in the shower? I'll stop the world and meld with you!