Bad Case Jokes

How can you tell you have a really bad case of acne?

It is when the blind try to read your face

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Why are all computer scientists such pessimists?

They always worry about the worst case!

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Phone Jokes More Phone Jokes

What's the difference between a man and E.T.?

E.T. phoned home.

What do you call a doctor who is always on a phone?

An oncologist

Bad Idea Jokes More Bad Idea Jokes

Why is it a bad idea to change clothes at a Pokemon's house?

Because he might Pikachu!

Why is it a bad idea to give Elsa a balloon?

Because she'll "Let it go! Let it go!" This joke was made up by my 5 year old nephew.

Face Jokes More Face Jokes

What did Will Smith's toe say to his face?

I am leg end.

What's the worst part of getting hit in the face with pie?

It's never ending.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How can you tell there is a Canadian in your closet?

You can hear someone scooting aboot in it

How can you tell the difference between a catholic, a baptist, and a Methodist?

A baptist will run into a liquor store, buy their alcohol and run out. A Methodist will walk into a liquor store and say high to everyone, then buy their alcohol and walk out. A catholic will show up to the store completely hammered, hug everyone, get their alcohol and stumble their way out of the store.

4th Jokes More 4th Jokes

What's the 4th grade essay in the Detroit School District?

What I want to be *if* I grow up.

What do they do for the 4th of July in England?

Sulk.

Tequila Jokes More Tequila Jokes

What is the Highest Proof of Tequila?

Juan Fifty Juan

What's the difference between tequila, and all of my relationships?

Tequila never goes bad

Try Jokes More Try Jokes

Why did the cannibal get banned from the hospital?

He kept trying the doctors patients(patience)

How did they invent break dancing?

Trying to steal the hubcaps off a moving car.

Read Jokes More Read Jokes

What's the difference between Lindsay Lohan and the newspaper?

Lindsay Lohan never reads the newspaper in jail, but the newspaper always reads "Lindsay Lohan in jail"

Why didn't Hellen Keller learn to lip-read?

The braille left her lips numb.