How can you tell that someone's a vegan?

Don't worry they'll tell you themselves.

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What do you call a snake that tells bad jokes?

A corn snake

Why am I here?

Devil: You told people you'd say hi to other people 3,789 times but only did it 4 times. Me: OK that's fair.

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What's the hardest part about being a vegan?

Waking up at 5 am to milk the almonds.

How do you know if a complete stranger is vegan?

They already told you.

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What's the best part about taking advice from r/relationships ?

You'll never have to worry about being in a long-term relationship.

What do you call a thirsty cow?

A watermeloin.. Don't worry, I remember where the door is.