What do you call joke told by a duck?

A wise quack.

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I just got fired from my job at the keyboard factory.

They told me I wasn't putting in enough shifts.

What's a difference between a teacher and a train?

The teacher tells you to spit you gum out. The train says, "Chew, chew, chew!"

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What does a National Geographic magazine or a JC Penney catalog have in common?

Sorry, the punchline is the joke. If you don't get it, ask your dad.

Why can't you tell a joke in a cornfield?

Because the stalks are all ears.

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Why do ducks nod their head when they walk?

They're listening to duckstep!

Why does duck taste better than turkey?

Because turkey is just poultry in comparison.