What do you call joke told by a duck?

A wise quack.

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How can you tell a dog from a tomato?

The tomato is red.

How can you tell if you bought lube from Tumblr?

Because it Lubri-Can't Even!

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Why was the ink happy?

Because it had its in-de-pen-dance. I'm posting lots of really bad jokes tonight that just appear in my head, if just one person enjoys just one joke is worth it, good evening.

Which profession has the worst sense of humour?

Well, chiropodists like jokes. But opticians like them .

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What's your emergency, sir?

Me: I'm being taken away by ducks! I'm being- 911: Please don't do this, sir M: AbDUCKted! 911: *hangs up*

Why do ducks have webbed feet ?

To stamp out forest fires !